[Written around 2006.]
Confronting one’s parents with the truth has both advantage and disadvantage. Its two main advantages are: 1) that it allows you, the now-grown child, to finally see just how strong you really are and just what you’ve been hiding beneath your surface for so long, and 2) that it allows you to finally put your childhood history in the clear backdrop of reality and see where your parents stand: that the unhealed sides of them, which are usually a significant portion of their personalities, are selfish and not primarily out for your welfare, and never were. The disadvantage of confronting your parents is that their unhealed sides will reject you.
One could argue that confronting parents could cause them to take a closer look at themselves – and begin to grow. This is highly unlikely. Every parent I have ever seen has too much pain and denial to protect to be honest. Anyone who confronts them in hopes of being rescued and loved by them is deluded – and yet we are all deluded to some degree until we become fully enlightened, that is, until we fully resolve the traumas of our childhood. Confronted parents will almost certainly not come to the rescue. If this were in the realm of possibility they wouldn’t have had you in the first place and would instead have healed themselves. On the contrary, they had you to rescue them.
Being rejected by parents is dangerous if you are still unconsciously getting your love needs met from them. Most people do this their whole lives, and often long after their parents have died. Parental idealization is a drug, and a highly addictive one. If you confront them, be prepared to go cold turkey, because they are heartless pushers. They are out for profit first. They were psychically taking from you before you were even born.
But there is relief in being rejected by the family. Now the truth is finally out: you are out of the system. Your soul always was out anyway, and now the rest of your psyche can join it. Now you can integrate. The value in integration, if you can stand the tortured hell, is that you can now grow much more freely. You don’t have to capitulate your actions to their limiting perspectives and pressures, and you can see truth that much more clearly.
This is a necessity for traveling the path toward enlightenment.