Feel free to sign my guestbook, and share your experience of my website or my work. Note: your email will not be made public, though if you share a link to your website that will be public.
Finishing "Breaking from your Parents" book right now. Great peace and resonance to be reading this. I broke with family August 2018. Has been liberating and frightening and many things. I am finishing a MA program for Social Work. When I started the degree I was in a very different place. So much has shifted since then I have found it hard and often meaningless to continue the degree. Yet, it is last semester so...onward, I guess. Every bit of my life was infested by the emotional incest and cult like drug trance I was conditioned into since my early childhood (me as the drug of choice for family to base their sense of self-hood and validation) that separating from that has opened up a major void. The old identity is gone, or on its death bed. This MA degree, too--nearly $20,000 into it and 2 years of commitment--seems based on my needing to rescue others and sacrifice my needs for others. I feel deep commitment to heal and to spiritually seek. I can't continue to live this way; 32 years as a kind of undead blood-supply for the world. I feel close to breakdown/breakthrough but must stay dissociated and distracted until the degree is over. What comes next? Ayahuasca ceremony seems right. Live in a spiritual community where I can collapse and let the rebirth of ego death move through me. I want to face this fear, these wounds, this trauma embedded in me, this pain in my intestines; this world-weariness; this numbness. Any thoughts? Thank you for the book and your courage.
Hi Daniel. I have no website. I just want to say congratulations to you for claiming your freedom. There is so much more to say. However, I am pleased to know that there are others who are willing to challenge the "norms" of our mental health system and expose it for its lack of empathy for those really needing help. At any rate, much peace to you and enjoy your travels and life-enhancing endeavors. I try to do the same as a photographer who also travels when I get a chance. AK
I miss Your new Videos. I'm a Loyal Watcher. Thanks for Your ideas & helping support. Peace, Richard...
Dear Daniel, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for “finding” you on YouTube. I am just now beginning to process my life’s trauma with a therapist a bit further along in the same process in his life. The book “The Body Keeps the Score” will be a part of my process as will regularly listening to you on YouTube for which I am extremely grateful, thank you. In the past 8 years I have experienced traumatic loss capping what I now realize has been a lifetime of trauma. My recent losses include those of my mother, partner, father, cat, career, and home. Those are on top of devastating bullying for being gay by friends, fellow students, teachers and family, among many others for over 50 years. I suddenly find myself alone with myself. Single and celibate. Sound familiar? Between my work with myself, my therapist, appropriate books and your deeply insightful wisdom I hope to heal. In my deepest core I identify as a pianist, having been strongly drawn to the piano since I was 5 and I will be 65 in April. Thank you for your messages online which will aid me in this difficult journey and process. By the way, I adore Tchaikovsky 5 among many other musical gems written by genius composers who were/are also horrific individuals. The “MeToo” movement has brought this long-standing issue to the forefront. Highly respected music critics have written about the abuse committed by highly respected musicians and how that is affecting their musical library choices. But I digress. In closing, all I can say is thank you, dear Daniel.
I discovered you recently on Youtube. I have barely scratched the surface on the material you offer and I'm... astonished. Your experiences sound so similar to mine. Except I never got out of the pit of despair my family pushed me down to. Now I'm beginning to understand. Now I can start to work on the tools to get me out of this hell. Thank you. Why aren't more people talking about these things??
Sorry, I forgot to sign my name. It is Nancy Bee Zhao
I love your blogs because you are so authentic. I am 65 years old. I have been working as a nurse for about 45 years. I am proud and happy that I have spent almost every day loving people trying to make their lives little more bearable. BUT I should have been what I wanted to be, An artist.........As I have always been obsessed with Philosophy and the search for understanding this thing we call reality. — Now I am retired and unfathomably depressed that I did not do more with my life. And that nobody understands my existential crises. Would you mind if I lived vicariously through yours?
thank-you for the much wisdom you share,I also have a great passion to see more people come free from the medications they take and still arent well,,Medication truly is abused big time in america,,I for one have started taking a pure full spectrum cbd oil with great results,,There has got to be a better way!
Thank you very much for your work Daniel especially to give voice to the victims of the mental health system god bless you!
Hello Daniel, Just found you on YouTube, such a delight to listen to you talk, especially on childhood trauma and how it disconnects you from yourself, how it silences you. So many things you talk of, I have personal experience of working through and coming to the same conclusion. So keep talking, keep making videos, keep shining... a great many silent ones may come out and be seen and heard, as a result. Kate xxx
Hey Daniel Just want to say thank you. I love your reflections and hounersty in your videos. So relieved hearing your views on therapy, what works and what doesn't work in your personal opinion.. It brought some really quality reflections to my own perspective across the sea.. Thanks for beeing yourself! Now I know, that there is someone out there like-minded within the therapeutic field, or well, not anymore, but your reflections on the topic brings value. Thank you.. and Merry Christmas very soon
Thank you for putting up your videos. Having watched a healthy portion of channel, your surgical breakdown of the mental health system, your courageous expounding of parental relations and surrogate partners symptoms, down to the conscious downshift of a lower register use has paralleled my life almost to a T. Thank you again for putting your videos up. You're not alone.
you certainly were tested. this is a superb video! confirms what l know confirmation the grand finale being Grace. truly rich video
Daniel, thank you so much for sharing your intelligence and your brave, wild heart ❤
Hi, I want to say Thankyou Daniel for sharing your personal struggles and work and staying true to yourself. I am breaking from my family partly at this time, there is much anger fear and backlash coming my way. It is strange because I know that I am simply establishing boundaries. I’m not trying to hurt anyone. I am on the path to wellness and wholeness but my family insists it can’t be if they’re not included/the ones directing it. God bless you, you are a beacon of light when it feels very dark and alone.
Thank you Daniel. Wild Truth is a valuable and generous resource. Much appreciated.
Dear Daniel! These last days as I found your website I am watching your videos with great pleasure. They help me clarify more what goes on in my own process of growth and gives me support I surely need. My experience as pretty much close to yours, for example I am a trained psychotherapist, though I did not work much as one. And I can totally relate to your experience as a psychotherapist. But I really don’t want to overwhelm you with my thoughts and my experiences, I think you have a lot of people who write to you, you have enough of it :)) My real motivation to write to you is to share with you something that helped me a great deal. I am currently in the process of separating from my parents. I can relate to your observation that it’s incredibly difficult and not accepted by the society. And that we have our own parents inside, we’ll, I still do. I’d like to share what helps me tremendously to heal, to see things clearly, to become my true self and to separate myself way easier from my family. 1. Understanding that at least one of them was a narcissist. And it is a common suggestion for children of narcissistic parents to go no contact with the narcissist. Have you ever read/watched videos about NPD. I really recommend you give it a try. 2. Some methods of meditation help me tremendously. I’d say these three: Emotional release, Metta meditation and Vipassana. I don’t want to write too much, but if you’re interested and ask me questions, I’ll gladly tell you why exactly i think they help and can give you some guided meditations that help me, for example. I any case, I give you a real big hug and I’m glad that you exist. May your life be inspiring and healthy and full of growth! Inga
I stumbled across your work on YouTube the other day. Watched The 'Critique of Jordan Peterson' Video. I find your 'Environment inducing behavioral dynamics' theory to be correct because it was a thought I had always had myself. I study Mathematics from home which led me into doing a lot more research into Clinical Psychology and The Neurological Sciences. If you ever have the time to discuss the topic further I'd appreciate hearing someone else's opinion. Thank You for the Work,
Hi Daniel. I stumbled upon your block and your work when I was searching for Alice Miller on YouTube. I must say your critique of Alice Miller, especially the interview you did with Martin Miller, has caused my faith in Alice Miller's preaching to crumble. I was abused severely by my parents and paternal relatives for the first 15 years of my life and they continued to try and control me for the next 15. My therapist has been working with me on my trauma by referencing to Alice Miller's work. After reading your critique (which echoed with my own thoughts greatly at various points), I am growing more and more afraid to go down this path. If Alice lived a dubious life, could I really trust her? I cannot deny I have been feeling better but this shadow of fear is growing to cloud me more and more. Thank you
Writing again here just to say loving your new set videos. Truth thank you! Maybe a decade + after I biding your content, you continue to provide actual help, however variously defined.
Thank you Daniel for your great video on forgiveness and your other videos! I am on board with what you said about forgiveness. I will never forgive my parents and my cousins sexual abuse of me growing up. Telling someone to forgive is another form of gaslighting and tyranny. I agree with you that those who push forgiveness refuse to deal with their own trauma. Why would someone want to forgive those who people committed heinous crimes? My parents had no remorse for the damage I suffered.
Just a question: I watched your video on why you quit being a therapist. And I am one of those clients you spoke of who, though in the most pain, have been rejected by therapists because I have the least money (on Disability). So, after two psychiatric stays, I've been delivered right back into the hands of my family who harmed me in the first place. Terrible, terrible irony. So my question: How do I keep from jumping out a window?
Hello Daniel, I appreciate your pure music and fabulous videos, and your courage and honesty in challenging and illuminating the injustice, ignorance and confusion to be found within the mental health arena. Lots needs to change, and I see you as a peer leader. I hope that you will continue to have many many followers and collaborators, and that lasting change for the better will also follow you - indeed, catch up with you. As for me, I hope that I will find the courage to continue my struggle to be open, honest and courageous. I hope to continue to look to your web resource for encouragement and support. Best wishes, Fi
Hello! I just listened to a podcast on Mad In America where you were interviewed by Will Hall. You spoke as to why you worked with people who were labeled psychotic or schizophrenic. I've always struggled to answer that same question when asked during a job interview. I, like you, can relate to the underdogs, the rebels, and to the one's that have been put down and stepped on. I recently graduated with a Master's in Counseling Psychology from California Institute of Integral Studies, which is a very progressive school. My last year as an intern I worked in a step down or transitional home for people with "Severe and Persistent Mental Illness". I loved it and hated it. I hated seeing how the system created a revolving door for the community's most vulnerable. I hated seeing people given two options, take your meds, or get out. That was abuse, and I actually filed an Elder Abuse claim against the supervisor. I too was not popular at this site. Most of the people I worked with were homeless, so they’d end hospitalized, medicated, "stabilized/ tranquilized", then released back out on to the streets, all to repeat again. What I loved about the work was developing a connection with the residents. Basically the only "technique" I used was empathic listening, along with believing them. I didn't tell them that what they were experiencing was not real. I invited them to describe what they were seeing or hearing. I remained curious and open. The feedback I received was profound and precious. Most said the same thing, that they had never felt more heard or listened to. After listening to your experiences in that interview, I knew I had to try and contact you. I want to do therapy with people who have "psychosis". Do you know of any organizations where this can be done? I am willing to travel! Or maybe a private practice? I have very few hours towards licensure, and as I write this, maybe the best thing to do is work for the least re-traumatizing organization so that I can get my license and start my own private practice. I know you got burnt out doing the work. I expect that may happen to me as well. Thanks for doing the work you did, and for also sharing your experience. It's been inspiring. Warmly, Matthew
Daniel, I am inspired by your brave, mental clarity. You are a gem. I feel so lucky to have happened upon your YouTube channel. My best to you, Kellie
Daniel, I can't thank you enough for your output of work. Can I ask: when a person is feeling pains in the body clearly due to the surfacing of trauma, what is the best way to sit with this pain? Do I simply observe? Do I ask it questions? Do I find the questions through writing? After a lifetime of neurosis, in this past year I've been able to let discomforts expand without necessarily seeking, enclosing, emphasizing, and analyzing them. If context helps to flesh out my question: yesterday I was juggling--practicing in front of a mirror, and I looked into my eye's own reflections, and asked out loud "what is it I really want?" Not long after, I started to cry, and utterred "to be out of this pain." Not simply was "something" surfacing, but dormant awareness of something was surfacing. Since then I've felt a discomfort in my groin (to be blunt, as if my penis has been cut [nothing testicular, however.]) The pain has been highlighting itself on and off today. I can tell some shift has taken place, and I want to approach it in an appropriate manner. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
I just listened to you video on forgiveness, and honestly Daniel, what you are describing is a form of denial with a "righteous" label put on it. God forgives us but never without dealing with the sin that alienated us from Him. To be reconciled to God does not just mean that He does not count our sin against us, but that He fundamentally changes us to be like Him. This is a great mystery. God vented all His just anger at our sin on Jesus to make a way for our forgiveness, redemption and restoration. When some one hurts me, I need to honestly acknowledge that and process it. When it is tempting to demonize some one for hurting me, I remember my own sin that hurt God so much. I remember how terrible His wrath is, and I think, I am hurt and angry, but I really do not want to see them suffer that much. Then I see them hurt and broken like me. I accept that God has allowed the pain that they caused me for a good reason. Then I am ready to seek a healthy reconciliation, but it takes two to reconcile. If they do not accept responsibility and respond in a healthy manner, that has to have consequences. Even God who forgives those who trust in Him disciplines them as a loving father that they might become holy as He is holy, without sin. Daniel, I am so sorry for the pain that you have had in your life. You are right to sever you relationship with your parents ( they killed it ). Thank you so much for staying true to the truth and for giving sacrificially of yourself for the healing of others. Your authenticity is a miracle. Not because it is easy ( which it is obviously not ), but because it is so rare and beautiful. Isaiah 63:9 If you have questions about what I have written, I have lots of time. Thank you for your kindness. ~Karen
Your work is so relevant, needed, original and inspiring.
Hi Daniel A friend of mine shared two of your videos with me and I'm really resonating with what you're sharing. It is great to hear someone else talk about some of the stuff that I've been talking about (I've just written a book about the dark night of the soul, or the process of becoming real.) I look forward to watching and listening to me and would love to connect at some point if you're inclined to. Warmest wishes Fiona