My name is Daniel Mackler and I am a musician, filmmaker, Youtuber, and writer based in New York. I also worked for ten years as a psychotherapist in New York, though I ended my therapy practice in 2010. My creative work focuses on the destruction of our natural environment and the causes, consequences, and significance of childhood trauma. I see childhood trauma as r
anging from the extreme, which is common, to the mild, which is so much more common that few even notice it at all, much less call it by its proper name. I view the norm in our culture as being highly traumatized and I view the average, and even above-average, childhood as being extremely traumatic – and the average parent as lacking both awareness of this and deep empathy for the child.
I see our world growing more pathological, confused, polluted, overpopulated, and disturbed by the day – and I feel that to stand by and say nothing while we destroy our planet is, at the least, irresponsible. Yet I write with great hope – both for individual healing and for the collective healing of our world. I seek to offer a new perspective – on relationships, on manifesting the best of ourselves, on the potential value of celibacy, on parenting, on the pathology of the family system, and on the future of our species.
Of note: I recently made a page for older comments from this welcome page to my website, because the hundreds or perhaps thousands of comments were making this page terribly slow to open!! Also, if you do leave a comment, please consider this: 1) If you type in your full name, it will show up on search engines, so if that concerns you, please only use your first name or use a pseudonym. 2) I don’t always have the time or energy to reply to comments, especially if they are very long. I love your comments, I read them all, and I wish I had more time and energy than I do!! And I wish you all the best!!! Thank you, everyone!!! –Daniel
Hi Daniel,
I wonder if you have any thoughts on the topic of not crying? As someone in this camp, I find difficulties in relating to my strong inner feelings of sadness towards myself and others, but with no tears coming out. I feel that I’m currently near the end of the process of trusting in the truth of my feelings and not filtering my emotions for unsafe others.
Regards,
Jonathan
Hi Daniel, I want to request you make a video on drug addiction, and the stigma attached to it. Further I have a question: are the modern rehabilitation center good to quit drugs?
When I interned in at a lower end rehab, I saw a mix of amazing healing and growth and total stuckness. Either way treating people with addiction like human beings that deserve respect and trust was so important. However, the facility itself did not fulfill that. It was often dirty with a very cheap and lazy cleaning service, boundary violating behavioral workers, overwhelmed therapists, a joke of “discharge planning”, the worst parts of AA, and in the middle of the ghetto with a liquor store 2 blocks away and a trap house even closer. Once a client was discharged due to lack of insurance before I arrived and could say goodbye and in those 30 minutes they had already purchased. Society is not able to facilitate recovery, and society will infest itself into rehabs.
Daniel I want to thank you with all my heart. If it wasn’t for your videos I wouldn’t have caught on to what the mental health system really does to people. Most therapists really do just lie to gain a patient’s trust and act like they care so they can put them on meds or give them Behavior Therapy like dbt and cbt. So they fit into society’s norms. They will do whatever they can to break you down it’s sad cause you want to believe that they care and truth is most don’t. You are one of the truly caring therapists. I heard a quote and thought it is right on beware of therapists in fancy offices there loyal is to their landlord not you. The mental health system is designed to keep people hooked not to heal. With your videos you help people all around the world know the truth and your videos are right on about everything. You should should do a video warning about motivational interviewing or motivational enchantment therapy where the therapist agrees with the patient even if they don’t believe them to gain the patients trust and friendship to get the patient to take meds or do whatever the therapist wants it’s really sick. Why don’t they just be honest.
I like your comments. If therapists were honest the whole paradigm would fall apart. If one continues to connect the dots, one may find that it is ALL a lie and that is just too painful for the collective to absorb.
Hey Daniel, so today I was thinking about what it means to be adaptable in the world, and how that might relate or conflict with some of your ideas about the self. I work in construction shoveling, using power tools, etc. and I sort of figure that in order to be adaptable and use my body and these tools with the proper form, I need to not have a strong commitment to being any one thing, and to me this might mean considering less of oneself and instead conforming to what the world asks of me. I’m curious what you think about this, and if you think a healthy self often considers itself, or rather just lets itself be in the world. I feel that what makes people stiff and rigid in their ways is a lack of fluidity and unhealthy ego, which I imagine comes from a lack of healing. I think being adaptable is greatly important for all things to survive, and I’m curious what you think it means to be adaptable in a world that can be somewhat sick. I’d love to hear any and all of your thoughts on the matter, because you’re a voice I consider when debating these things.
Hello! I have been reading the drama of the gifted child on your recommendation. Alice miller has talked alot about mourning for healing the inner child. What actually is mourning?
Hey Daniel,
I’m beginning to realise that for many abusive families, there could be a child that has all the abuse and acting out offloaded onto them, known as the scapegoat nowadays. But then, there may be another that is bred and groomed and spoiled and treated entirely differently to the abused child. But this is to allow the abusive parents to have an ATM of mirroring, therapy, justification and normalisation of their abuse of the other child, almost as some sort of totem of redemption for the abusive parents. It’s like because the parents know that the abuse they are acting out is heinous but they can’t help it and they’re in denial, they NEED to have another child which they can treat as an object of false redemption. This child is usually on the sidelines of abuse, and that chaotic environment along with profound neglect of this child’s true needs, can be enough to terrorise this child enough to behave, and feel extra grateful for the special treatment they get, and thus unbeknownst to them, grant these abusive parents “company”, “redemption” and “mirroring” and JUSTIFICATION for the awful things they’ve done to the other child. They also need this “mirror” child because they know the abused child, the scapegoat, is a lost cause; the scapegoat has been so terribly abused, and so relentlessly, that the scapegoat KNOWS how awful the parents are as human beings no matter how much they posture, and how beyond change or redemption the parents truly are – the scapegoat has eyes clear as water. Hence, the parents know the scapegoat child will refuse to meet the parents’ needs. Thus the spoiled “mirror” child becomes a vending machine of validation and needs for the parents, a “last resort”, that the parents wants to try “fix” themselves and the family with, “salvation” for these unconsciously guilty and lonely and paranoid and fucked up and lost parents, and this child has been so twisted and confused that they can even feel guilty and neglected from not being abused, yet knowing deep down something has wronged them. The parents may literally serve this child as if they are god, they will heed to their every command and every boundary, and this is convenient for the parents as this incapacitates the child from meeting their own needs, getting to know themselves, and becoming independent or a self from the parents.
What happens is this polarisation: a scapegoat child who is so terribly abused but retains a self and a sensibility of truth as clear as water, who the parents have given up and is relieved to eventually send away after abusing them for so long like a dishrag. But then the other child, this spoiled child, is a redemptive projected object, that helps them unconsciously absolve their guilt. But they can only coerce that out of this child by first terrorising this child with fear as they watch on the sidelines, but then also ply them with special treatment that they feel grateful for. However, this process literally warps the child’s mind, making them dependent, acclimated, and normalised to this abusive family and their dynamics. Because it is only in this twistedness that any child is even capable of justifying and mirroring and normalising to these fucked up parents such fucked up abusive dynamics at all. They associate control and safety and hyper-responsibility with these abusive dynamics, but they literally have no self, and are unaware others do. They idealise these parents to some extent (at least, far more than the scapegoat ever will). They become crippled and conveniently, the parents can use this deluded, pampered, spoiled, warped, conditionally loved half-creature of a person as their caregiver in their old age, while absolving the parents of all guilt of how truly fucked up and terrible and deserving of PUNISHMENT rather than CARE they as parents are. Especially since this child has needed to mirror and justify and normalise their shitty parents, they grow up to be just as shitty, because they think it’s okay and what normal “loving” parents do. And thus this cripples them even more, while they unconsciously have starved needs they are unaware of and thus never meeting by themselves in secret. It can be crippling even if they have a little sense of self and sense of victimhood remaining in them, because this causes them to go down with vicious mental illness, of them unconsciously being battered by truth but also vacillating violently with the lies they were groomed and bred to think of as truth growing up.
It’s like this “scapegoat” child was overtly abused, but as a result they know to more of an extent that it was abuse. They retain a self and a future livelihood as a result. But the second child received such opposite treatment, their MINDS and SELVES were invaded and robbed before they even knew it. It’s like the parents were acting out their process of compartmentalising their acting out selves and their well behaved selves onto their children. They literally can’t help acting out because they’re so disconnected, but they feel like they can only compartmentalise it by concentrating their abuse onto one child and then being totally polar opposite with the other child.
The spoiled deluded conditionally loved secretly neglected child may grow up to function either poorly or very well in the world, but either way, they have no self, their true needs have been unmet and starved this entire time, and they have no idea they’re acting out. I see this dynamic in my own family, but I’m beginning to realise that it is VERY common, and it can be in the more mildly abusive family systems, all the way to the most heinous cases that you see in the news. I mean, literally think of Harry Potter and Dudley! But then, also, the sexual abuse cases that crop up. These dynamics twist children’s minds, profoundly.
Have you observed this dynamic in the world too?
Thank you,
Mary
Oh and often, the spoiled child feels a sense of responsibility to save and idealise these beyond saving parents because that is literally what their parents are begging them for! Therapy, salvation, good treatment after their acting out! And so this child faces a psychologically messed up dilemma of seeing the wounded lost children of their parents, and how can you on a primal level turn away lost guilty children? Yet, in the bigger picture, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE PARENTS ARE FUCKING WITH THE MIND OF THIS ACTUAL CHILD FOR – for false redemption, to psychologically cripple this child and rob them of a self, and to normalise the abusive bigger picture!
Also… just realised… I think I’ve just figured out a HUGE part of why religious institutions are so fucked. Perhaps they were little children who were treated as totems of redemption in incredibly abusive households and now they’re replicating it.
Oh and often, the spoiled child feels a sense of responsibility to save and idealise these beyond saving parents because that is literally what their parents are begging them for! Therapy, salvation, good treatment after their acting out! And so this child faces a psychologically messed up dilemma of seeing the wounded lost children of their parents, and how can you on a primal level turn away lost guilty children? Yet, in the bigger picture, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE PARENTS ARE SCREWING WITH THE MIND OF THIS ACTUAL CHILD FOR – for false redemption, to psychologically cripple this child and rob them of a self, and to normalise the abusive bigger picture!
Hi Daniel
How do i know if im grieving or im just re experiencing trauma?
Thanks for your content
Hi P,
I would suggest journaling about this question to explore it better.
Daniel
Hi where can i get help for UC medical and mental therapy in nyc?
Hi RS. Sorry, I don’t have any suggestions about this…
Daniel
Hi P,
The only way I found out the answer to this was my journaling about it a lot.
Daniel
Hello Daniel,
My question to you is that why your music is not on sound cloud app?
Hmm, I haven’t thought of it. Thanks for the idea. Daniel
Hi Daniel,
i listen to you from a little fisher town in Peru. Your videos and your existance makes helps me feel not alone i feel like you are my friend (i know its wierd bc you dont know me). i studied psychology (a teacher showed me your documentary since then i listen to you) and gone to a “therapy” with a lot of “professionals” from 5 to 18 years old i’ve been labeled with depresion, ocd and bpd. I have always felt weird and extrange since i was a child, like there was something very wrong in me.
During my career (and life) i disagreed with many things… I thought maybe i was just full of hate against psychologists (and society) but thanks to you I reasure myself that i was never wrong.
I was born in Lima and moved to Lobitos 3 years ago (when i splited from my mother) and have never been this happy… but im grieving so i have never been this miserable hahaha
Just wanted to thank you and let you know that you reach a lot of weird people in remote weird places of the world
Thanks Valu — gracias Daniel
Hi Daniel,
I recently watched several videos of Robert Sapolsky discussing determinism and free will. I’d like to know your thoughts on his views, especially regarding accountability and blame.
For many years, I felt quite deterministic. I would easily come up with reasons for my or any abusers’ behaviors, think that it was nobody’s fault, feel pain for the abuse victims, and feel helpless and trapped in this suffering life and suffering world. Then I came across your videos, in one of which you said that holding one’s abusers accountable, blaming them, and feeling anger towards them are important processes in healing. I’ve been working on those and still struggling to steadfastly side with the wounded child in me instead of the abusers. Then I encountered Robert Sapolsky’s arguments that counter all of that. His arguments seem to be strong. I feel ambivalent and exhausted.
I’d appreciate it if you could make a video on this.
Thank you!
Hi Daniel,
Could you please share your thoughts on BPD recovery and the DBT techniques of Dr. Linehan? I was diagnosed with PTSD, and have a similar background to yours, but also experience cycling depression every few weeks. I wonder whether it’s not a consequence of environment and poverty rather than a personality disorder. DBT seems to teach acceptance, which is great for people who can afford therapy, but if I accept my circumstances I won’t be able to buy groceries next week.
Hi Boo Radley,
Well, I did make a video critiquing borderline personality disorder: https://youtu.be/Pk8PRAKBEaQ
As for DBT, I really don’t know that much about it. I’ve heard both good and bad about it, but it never really called out to me…
Daniel
Hi daniel, have you ever considered making a criticism of selp help and personal development? because they obviously avoid talking about trauma and childhood history that determines the person’s adulthood, but rather they are highly optimistic about everything as if present is the only variable we should be looking for, the acontext mindset of selp help pisses me off, for the reason of their exploiting and ignoring the very thing we should have to understand, your content literally differs from them because youre not giving people grandiosity and an almost balance and psychologically sound thing of looking, understanding, and doing things
Hi Ralph,
Well, I certainly feel that if any self-help work doesn’t in some key way look at childhood history and childhood trauma, then it’s not going to be worth very much. I certainly wouldn’t support it!
Daniel
I would confidently say almost all of them are.
Hi Daniel,
I was wondering if you have any specific thoughts about artificial intelligence?
Hi Isaac,
Hmm…I’m really not sure. I have used Chat GPT from time to time and found it useful, but in a bigger sense I don’t have much of an opinion on AI. I’ll have to think about it!
all the best,
Daniel
Hi Daniel,
Thanks for answering my question.
I only bring it up because as I watched your video on what would happen if the human race decided to stop having children, especially when you begin to talk about the pain and consequences that would erupt if this happened, I started thinking about two of my favourite science fiction stories. ‘Detroit: Become Human’ a videogame developed by the studio Quantic Dream and ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’ the novel by Phillip K Dick.
Now I don’t know if you are familiar with either of these stories, but If we are addicted to having children as you say, then people in this hypothetical world of no kids for 20 years would still find some way to have “children”. As you have said addicts often replace addictions with other milder addictions.
Firstly (discounting Sci-Fi) I believe that there would be a surge in the popularity of pet ownership as people would own multiple pets and become addicted to grooming and “raising” them as a substitute to having human children.
Secondly, if AI evolved far enough and we stopped having kids, I think people would come up with a way to artificially create a child as a substitute to the real thing. This is what these stories prophesy.
Humans have a desire to procreate, to pass on, to leave a legacy of some kind. Depending on how far AI is able to evolve, forget build a bear! People will be able to build a ‘child’ in a workshop and make it exactly as they desired.
With gratitude
Isaac
Hello Daniel,
I found your videos around a year ago and they have helped me a lot. I struggle with severe social anxiety and I can barely talk to people. I’ve been in therapy off and on, but I deal with an considerable amount of regret for missing out on doing things as a younger person. I come from a small town where there are virtually no clubs or groups to join. I am nearly 27 now and I have spent most of my life in my room. Is there anything you can recommend for dealing with regret about missing out on things?
Once again, thank you so much for your videos,
Brittany
Hi Brittany,
Greetings! Well, back in 2019 I did make a video on dealing with regrets: https://youtu.be/I2R4IIJ2KBs
It’s short and I haven’t watched it since I put it up, but maybe it will be useful to you — I hope!
All the best,
Daniel
Hey man
Just wanted to say thank you for recording videos and uploading them on youtube. Your kindness can this way reach many people who are in a dark place (like me) and provide them guidance. Just listening to your thoughts on psychology points me in the right direction and it’s good to have you as a role model that got out of difficult place.
Things you said about distancing from your family and people who hurt you made me realise I’m in very similar positiion myself. Also comments about realising and admiting to yourself that you’re not truly psychologicaĺy grown are a really great first step on a long journey to heal yourself.
I hope life treats you well and that your days are now full of joy and peace.
All the best
Peter
Thank you Peter!
Daniel
Hi, can you recommend valid books on the topic of psychology/psychiatry , or perhaps authors
Hi Beatrice,
Here are some: https://wildtruth.net/some-book-recommendations-psychology-and-more/
All the best,
Daniel
Hi Daniel I was wondering about your thoughts on dbt treatment ? I was wondering what your thoughts on or opinions of the withdrawal of warmth technique were ? I’m curious about your opinion on this cause of the wide use of this method and the therapist withdrawal of warmth technique to a patient who is suicidal or has self harmed? maybe you could even do a video on this I think it’s abuse by a therapist. I would love to hear your opinion on this it makes me angry that therapists use such a thing on victims of trauma.
Hi Judy,
I don’t have a strong opinion on DBT, though what I do know I feel mixed about, as I’ve heard mixed things from people who have gone through it. Some said they liked it, others didn’t. I never heard of warmth technique, though…
I send you greetings-
Daniel
Thank you Daniel so much. I have one very important question for you. What do you think about a therapist lieing to there patients? How would you end therapy if your therapist lied to you and you caught them? I’m glad that there are honest therapist like you and I love your videos you really get us and that’s hard to find. my fav is the psychiatrist in 10 min it’s so true. I’m from Canada and I’ve shared your videos so much with friends and family
Erg — when therapists lie it isn’t a good thing!!! I wouldn’t feel comfortable staying with them…
Daniel
It’s called met therapyy or motivational enhancement therapy when a therapist goes along with the client or lies to them about agreeing with them to stay in therapy it’s pre cbt or dbt. The withdrawal of warmth technique makes me puke it’s when a therapist gives love and affection when a client is good and takes it away when they are bad it’s abuse i dont know how these are allowed and used in hospital settings. If someone is honest with me and actually listenis to what is bothering me they wouldn’t need these therapies I caught on to and confronted the therapist about and he admitted to using them and his response was your smarter than I thought . maybe you could make a video warning clients to watch out for therapy techniques that will hurt them like the people that abused them. why do they want to keep people hooked in the system? Im 45 and just entered the system it’s horrible in Canada they take away people’s clothes and underwear and leave them in a gown for two weeks or locked them in a room for up to a month with no privacy and give them meds is the United States like this?
Hey Daniel, hope you’re alright
What are your thoughts on the Hikikomori phenomenon? People who withdraw from society, don’t work, don’t study, for years or decades. I saw your video on social anxiety and selective mutism, I struggled with both of those things as a kid which followed me into adulthood. Now, I shut myself away from the world, not leaving my house for months.
I would appreciate if you made a video on this phenomenon affecting millions of people around the world.
Hi K,
I started reading about Hikikomori when I was in Japan in 2023. I also had a long conversation with Professor Tamaki Saitō, who is one of Japan’s leading experts on hikikomori, when I was there. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamaki_Saitō ) He also happens to have a keen interest in Finnish Open Dialogue, and he and I were both speaking at an Open Dialogue event in Tokyo. But I was more interested in hikikomori than Open Dialogue! I’m not sure I yet have any original thoughts on hikikomori, or maybe I do. I think it would probably be worth making a video on the subject. So I’ll need time to think about it and study it more… But I will say this: for a lot of people, the world — the social world, the work world, the educational world — is hellish and terrifying and ridden with pressure, so I can understand why some people would withdraw from it….
I send you best wishes!
Daniel
I didn’t know that it is a phenomenon and has a name. Thanks, K! I wonder if it has other names in other cultures. Now I’m really looking forward to Daniel’s video on it.
Hi, any good books on internet addiction, consequences and treatment?
None that I know of… Maybe others know of some…
Daniel
Dopamine Nation by Ann Lemke might be helpful. There’s a documentary about technology, but I can’t remember the name at the moment. Jaron Lanier may be another good resource. I believe he’s written at least one book and he has done many, many interviews on the impact of social media on people’s lives.
Hello Daniel, I could really use some advice. I’ve been having a tough time lately after opening up about my trauma too soon, which made my addiction go through the roof. I was forced into pursuing a medicine program. I want to switch my major to architecture, which is my real passion, but my family is making it really difficult for me. and I’m trying to keep up with everything since I’m working on applying to a university abroad. But now I’m feeling totally burned out.
Hi Ali,
I’m not sure what to say. I hope, though, that you are able to follow your dreams. Maybe others have suggestions here…
Daniel
Hi Daniel. Just want to thank you again for being one of the few voices of reason left amidst the pain and delusion. In more than one instances of despair, , your videos provided some hope. Many thanks.
You’re welcome Aris. Wishing you the best. Daniel
Hi Daniel, what do you think of veganism? I think it’s one of things that would influence the choice of a therapist, the diet has a lot to do on how you treat the vulnerable ones.
Hi Daniel, my heart just doesn’t know how to thank you enough, for sharing your knowledge so kindly, and in a very lucid way. Actually, I found your videos by “accident”. You seem such an elocuent soul, and it’s a real pleasure to hear you talk. I’ve been watching your content and I am really grateful it came across, so much that I wished you could know. Felt like someone heard me for the first time, like an old good friend. Today, I remembered my voice, because of you. Might seem odd from a stranger, but I haven’t seen a gem in a long long time, and without a doubt you are one of them. I hope life gives you back everything you’re sharing. Agustina
Thank you Agustina!
Daniel
Hi Daniel,
Just wanted to say thank you for putting your truth out into the world. I am very glad it somehow found me. It is really helping me to become a psychotherapist and get much deeper into self-healing a living a full life. When I see to come across in a theme in life I am working through, there always happens to be a video you have made on the subject that gives that validates my thoughts and pushes me forward just that extra bit.
Regards,
Jonathan
You’re welcome!!
Hi! Three people I know are interested in your book “breaking from your parents” but aren’t with English. Can I translate it for them?
Hi Beatrice,
Which language are they interested in? It is already translated into Italian, in case they are Italian speakers: https://www.amazon.com/Staccarsi-dai-propri-genitori-precedente-ebook/dp/B081B564SK
But it’s not presently translated into any other languages…
Daniel
Thank you so much!
Hi Daniel.
I love your videos and i willl make this quick, my brother has schizophrenia and I want to help him get off his medicine. What should I do? Thank you
Hi Bashir,
I did make a film on the subject: https://youtu.be/Q5EpnVdLvkU
But the main thing is that it all really has to be under the control of your brother. Does he want to come off his eds? Basically, I think he should do a lot of reading and studying of the subject himself. It’s good that you’re studying it too, but more important that he learns a LOT about it himself.
Here are two good resources for him/you: https://willhall.net/comingoffmeds/
https://www.theinnercompass.org/
Wishing you both the best!
Daniel
Hi Daniel,
I just discovered your YouTube Channel, and I am loving so many of the videos on psychotherapy. I was wondering, do you have any referrals for psychotherapists livingand working in the state of New Jersey?
Hi John,
Unfortunately I don’t have such a referral. I used to be in the loop in this world, but nowadays I’m out of the loop…
I’m wishing you the best, though!
Daniel
Hi, Could you leave a list of good etichal services and therapists available?
Hi Beatrice,
Unfortunately I don’t have such a list. I’m pretty much out of the loop in terms of good psychology or healing services available… Pretty much I advocate for self-therapy….
All the best to you!
Daniel
Dear Daniel,
In your video “What Does It Mean to be an Adult”, you say that the best way to be an adult is to be the emotionally mature adult who continues to heal their own traumas, rather than simulating a functioning member of society. You mentioned signifiers of a functioning member of society in society’s eyes include having a formal job, having a partner, getting married, having children, having a car, having a house, etc.
However, in your video “Parents Who Disinherit Their Children — An Analysis and some Personal Experience”, you consider it neither disrespectful nor unfair for parents to disinherit their children, if the children don’t “do anything to actually behave like an adult or participate in adulthood” or are “dysfunctional member[s] of society”.
These two messages seem conflicting to me. In the second video, you seem to say, especially given your tone, that children deserve their parents’ love and money, if they act “like an adult”, i.e., simulate a functioning member of society, even if they are not doing any healing work. This appears to suggest that displaying societal signs of adulthood is necessary, which conflicts with your messages in the first video. There, you seem to say that conforming to societal norms of being an adult is not only unnecessary but “sometimes just plain wrong” and that it is more important to do inner healing which would then enable oneself to function better but not necessarily in a way that conforms to societal norms.
I could have misunderstood your messages. By “do anything to actually behave like an adult or participate in adulthood” in the second video, do you mean doing inner healing work and taking care of oneself, or displaying signs of being an adult in the eyes of society, or either of both?
Thank you.
Hi B.,
I’m not sure what to say. I haven’t watched those videos in a long time and can’t remember what I specifically said. Perhaps there were some inconsistencies — or perhaps not?
I’ve leave it for others to assess….
Daniel
Dear Daniel,
I’m very happy to have found you about a year ago on YouTube. You’re one of the few genuinely authentic people on the internet. Some time ago, I rediscovered the topic of MBTI, which you’re probably familiar with. It is considered pseudoscience within the realm of conventional psychology, even though psychology itself is sometimes considered a pseudoscience within the realm of conventional medical sciences. Still, I looked into it again and researched it, and it gave me an “aha” moment that helped me understand myself better than ever.
Funnily enough, even after analyzing my childhood trauma through the childhood traumas of my parents, this very thing helped me to accept and understand myself more than other psychological information I’ve learned. It also helped me understand and accept my spouse.
Since my earliest childhood I constantly feel like I don’t belong in any group I’ve tried to be a part of. I tested as an INFJ many times, and this type is characterized as introverted and intuitive to the point of not fitting into society and constantly having to pretend to be someone else just to be somewhat accepted. After everything I’ve read about this type, and analyzing myself using this new knowledge, I then started to implement this information to analyze other people. I think you might be another genuine INFJ. I thought you might be interested in this topic, especially the aspect of intuition vs. sensing.
Best regards,
Kate
Hi Kate,
I know very little about psychological testing, including the MBTI. A lot of people over the years have commented that I might be an INFJ, but somehow I was never much called to look so deeply into psychological testing, because perhaps I’ve had so many negative experiences with testing in the school system when I was younger… But that’s not to say the MBTI is not valid. Maybe it really holds a lot of value! I just don’t know.
Wishing you the best,
Daniel
P.S. I did make a video on the subject of introversion vs. extroversion. Maybe you’ll find it relevant? https://youtu.be/elpanVfDQtg
Hi Daniel,
Thanks for sharing your insights with the world. Your videos have been a light in my life, helping me clarify my thoughts and heal from my traumas.
However, I recently came across several points in your earlier videos that I can’t stop thinking about. I wonder if you have had further thoughts on these subjects since posting those videos. Could you clarify and help me understand what you mean?
One point is that, in your video “What Do Children Owe Their Parents?”, you seemed to have said that parents give the gift of life to their children.
In my culture, and perhaps many cultures, a gift is never free and is always expected to be repaid to the gift giver in some way. So, if it were true that parents give the gift of life to their children, then why wouldn’t children owe their parents? That the gift/debt of life would be too great to ever be fully repaid by the children would not negate that the children owe their parents, if it were true that parents give the gift of life to their children, right?
But, how could life be a gift, if so many lives suffered and are suffering tremendously? For example, how is life a gift to children who suffer tremendously from physical illnesses and die before they could even begin to heal their traumas? How could life be a gift to children who were born in war zones and were horrified, tortured and murdered in wars? How is life a gift to non-human animals that are preyed upon, eaten alive, raped, sick, abandoned, ostracized, or tortured in the wild? Just because some people could be privileged enough to have certain biological, psychological, social, financial circumstances that allow them to live a life that they think is not too bad or even good, doesn’t mean that life itself is a gift, right?
I agree with everything else you said in the video, and I think every existing adult person has a responsibility to help the life, the mind and the body, that they’ve been forced into inhabiting to be the most healed and healthy that they can be with the circumstances that they are in.
But do you think that life is a gift and that parents give the gift of life to children by bringing them into existence? I’ve also seen a few comments against the beliefs that “life is a gift” and of “parents give the children the gift of life” in the comment section of your video “The Irrational Defenses of Bad Parents — And Sadly, They Are Common” and would really like to know your thoughts on this.
Thank you!
Hi B,
I have a few thoughts on what you wrote. You said: “In my culture, and perhaps many cultures, a gift is never free”
I think the gift of life — that is, a parent creating a child, is an absolutely free gift. The child owes the parent nothing. On the contrary, the parent owes the child a lot — many years of consistent nurturing.
And if the parents don’t or can’t give this nurturing in a consistent way for years (or decades), then they never should have created a life in the first place. They just weren’t ready — and that gift of life really can be a curse. The curse of a hellish existence-to-be…
Wishing you the best,
Daniel
I have searched but cannot find anywhere you talk about repressed memories. I do believe I have some.
My doctor believes I have PTSD and wants me to go back to therapy. I don’t necessarily think I need to dredge every memory out of myself, but I am not getting better on my own. I feel a huge amount of something being held back like a volcano.
Can you provide links to any of your content in context of memory?
Hi Elizabeth,
How’s this? : https://youtu.be/BT3EnBODeUw
all the best,
Daniel
Hey Daniel,
I’d like to think I’m becoming conscious. I’m learning how to heal my traumas and really feel my feelings, and it’s great, I feel great, I feel more of my self. But there’s an issue: I’m pretty young, in my first few years of college, and it’s difficult to get away from “abusers”, however mild they may be. It is extremely overwhelming at times. In addition, when I attempt to drift away or set boundaries, I am met with a lot of push back, and eventually being violated becomes the norm again, and I have to try all over again to gain that mutual respect. (I almost wish I had woken up a few years later than I did)
I wish to ask if you have any advice or wisdom in this subject. More specifically, how do I “surrender” to their game without breaking my own self respect? Or, do I just need to accept the suffering until I can become fully independent?
Hi Sean,
I’m not sure if I have specific advice, but maybe one or more of my self-therapy videos will resonate with you?
Wishing you the best,
Daniel
Hi Daniel,
I’m a therapist early in my career and already questioning my career for many reasons. I have watched your “Why I Quit Being a Therapist” video many times, as I find your thoughts to be so validating.
I’m wondering if you have any advice to young therapists? What therapeutic approaches would you recommend training in?
I’m also wondering specifically what you think about Internal Family Systems and the whole idea of our minds being made of multiple parts.
Any of your thoughts would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Hi JV,
I created a playlist on my YouTube channel about my videos on psychotherapy, and I think a number of them might be quite useful to newer psychotherapists…
Here’s a link to it: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRHLaIzKomTiyUtDGwvzc9YjcM3K9sdMG
About IFS specifically, I’m copying this from a reply I write elsewhere about IFS:
I’ve been asked about IFS a lot and I just searched through comments on my Youtube channel and found three times I replied about it.
Here’s what I wrote:
1) IFS (from what I’ve seen) has a lot of overlap with my point of view, but I’m still not a fan of any school of therapy. But IFS certainly seems better than most!! Daniel
2) I know some things about IFS and I’ve met Dick Schwartz. I think there’s a lot of overlap between the IFS point of view and my own. I just am not a big fan of giving a new therapy school a label and a name. I was never much into the labels of any therapy schools.
3) From the bits and pieces I know I’d say IFS is pretty good. But I know some pretty bad (even disturbed) IFS therapists! In my experience, I focus less on the therapy school than the inner quality of the therapist.
All the best!
Daniel
Hi,
I was watching your video about the psychology of acting out, and you claimed that every form of acting out, such as bullying or any other behavior that can be traumatic, is a compensation for one’s past traumatic experiences.
Therefore, my question is: do you have any theory about how it all started? If everyone acts out because they were traumatized before, who started it? Does it naturally stem from evolution and the animal family system and was then spread?
Hi Gosia,
Well…I’d say it began with emotionally neglectful parenting, somewhere along the way…
But this subject is definitely worth a lot of thinking.
Maybe I’ll make a video about it.
Thanks!
Daniel
I would like to see you make a video or write a blogpost where you flesh out and try to explain concepts such as the different defense mechanisms (projection, projective identification, reaction formation, etc.), the repetition compulsion, what it means to be violated or abused as a child, etc. from your own perspective.
Alternatively, if you know of any other sources that explain these concepts to your satisfaction, I would like you to link them here.
Thanks a lot for your work !
Hi Prakash,
Hope this video I made helps: https://youtu.be/1HsBW1V5a48
And I talk a lot about the repetition compulsion in various videos…but I just can’t remember quite where…
Daniel
Hey Danial, Hope you’re doing well you lovely human.
I’ve been thinking about internal family systems (IFS). I’m not sure if you heard of it. I’d love to hear your take on it.
I would also love to hear your take on IFS Daniel!
Hi Julianna,
I’ve been asked about IFS a lot and I just searched through comments on my Youtube channel and found three times I replied about it.
Here’s what I wrote:
1). IFS (from what I’ve seen) has a lot of overlap with my point of view, but I’m still not a fan of any school of therapy. But IFS certainly seems better than most!! Daniel
2) I know some things about IFS and I’ve met Dick Schwartz. I think there’s a lot of overlap between the IFS point of view and my own. I just am not a big fan of giving a new therapy school a label and a name. I was never much into the labels of any therapy schools.
3) From the bits and pieces I know I’d say IFS is pretty good. But I know some pretty bad (even disturbed) IFS therapists! In my experience, I focus less on the therapy school than the inner quality of the therapist.
All the best!
Daniel
I would also love to hear your thoughts about IFS and the popularity it has gained in recent years.
Thanks!
Hello Daniel,
I wrote a slightly longer comment, but during posting it was blocked and I was unable to recover the text.
More shortly, I have just seen your video “How Do I Get Out of an Impossible Situation,” and I have a friend who seems to be in one of those situations. However, due to intense trauma, with seemingly endless unconscious coping, and her proximity and dependence psychologically on her biggest abuser(s), she is unable maybe even to admit to herself how troubled her situation is, or if she gets to that, too hopeless, dismissive, or unwilling to even approach the possibility of liberation.
She can sometimes accept the process of “healing,” but may have a warped and belittled conception of what it is, its deeper power, with unfortunately such a traumatic upbringing with such troubled and abusive peers. There are things in her life she could be doing right now to help begin (like becoming more independent of her abusers), but she is unwilling or unable to really explore the subject. It is very troubling to see her in such a confused, helpless state, and to know that continually she may be squashed down by her overshadowing abuser, and also that the institutions that diagnosed and are “treating” her seem not to be helping her with overall direction in all of this.
It is considerably adding even to my own suffering/grief to be conscious of her “rolling back” to a more “dissociated” life. In some moments she desperately wants healing and can discuss it, but the next day whatever energy was there is simply not; she is back on “autopilot,” and sometimes totally rejects and distances it, saying things like “I feel fine, nothing’s wrong” (which may be due to pharmaceuticals or other drugs).
Do you have any thoughts or advice on offering support in the best way for a person in such a situation? I sense an incredibly strong and deep wish to help, but due to these various dynamics it’s difficult to find a right relationship to truly be a support which she is capable of accepting seriously.
It’s a busy world, and I appreciate you reading. If you can’t reply, or can only offer a short acknowledgement, that is fine. I appreciate any consideration of this. If you’d like to reply by email, for more privacy and depth, that is your choice and I hope you can see my address. I deeply appreciate your energy and outlook on things, and I am soberly curious what you would think of this situation.
There are more details not possible to convey here, if they will inform a response you want to make. You are a light to the world, thank you for doing what you do.
Serendipity wished for all,
Levi
Hello Daniel. Your videos really helping me. Make me awake about my past. Thank you so much for them.They are really life saving.Make me feel understood. But I have really big adult traumas.Big part of them are results of childhood traumas. Sometimes I get stuck with them and everything gets so messy. Everything gets so hard and complicated. Do you have any thoughts on this subject? Can you make an episode about traumas happened adultdhood result of the childhood traumas? Again thank you so much for your sharing and caring approach.Wish you the best.
Hi Daniel,
In some of your videos, you discuss in your role of as a therapist that you made sure to help your clients see what is happening in the relationship that is helpful and render yourself obsolete. I was wondering if you could make a video discussing on how you talk about and prepare your clients for self-therapy during therapy. Or just what you provide as guidelines for good therapeutic work with what you know now in your healing journey.
Regards,
Jonathan
Hello,
I have watched a lot of your videos and found yourideas interesting, though I wonder if they apply to me and my life. I would like to hear your thoughts on this, and advice you may have for me.
I do believe I have been harmed to some extent by my parents, especially by my mother, especially in childhood, but leading all the way up to right now (I am currently in my early, twenties).
This harm may have lead to me developing lying (to others and to myself; about things that happened to me or things that I did, typically to make myself ‘look better’/’seem like an innocent victim’, etc.), cheating, stealing, addictions(pornography, food bingeing, sleeping to avoid things, watching YouTube videos, including your own) and suicidality (pervasive and persistent suicidal ideation and some flimsy attempts since at least when I was in 11th grade and preparing for college entrance exams, but which began in around 9th grade)
but to say that I have been an entirely innocent little child is far from true. Today, I understand all the above vices in me as some or the other kind of defense, ‘protecting’ me from some other real or perceived threat, but harming me and others more in the process. But there have indeed been times when I realize I am doing the wrong thing (even if I don’t think there is some very serious threat I am defending myself from…. openly admitting to my parents that I spent excessive amounts of their money on buying 2 pizzas to binge on in a day will not kill me. if nothing, their anger upon hearing this is reasonable and ‘should help me be more accountable to myself and to them about the behaviors I engage in)
I am far from innocent. Sometimes I do feel that my parents really didn’t harm me as much as other people’s parents harmed them, because I still seem to keep some power in me, I still manipulate my parents (who, no matter how much I may dislike them, I have to respect, least because they are the ones supporting me financially at this point) and other people a lot….
I have committed crimes of my own (not going into details on this, except that i have never been convicted of anything but I do believe I have done some very wrong things to other people). I do paint myself innocent to myself by ignoring that I am not studying in suniversity, already have delayed my graduation by a year and am sending days addicted to youtube and food bingeing, and not applying for jobs and studying, all while fantasizing about committing suicide in various ways.
how do I reconcile these two things (I developed addiction as a dissociation tactic, to numb myself from intense negative emotions and I now don’t do any work at all, I just want to lie down and rot and keep eating pizzas or chocolates until my teeth rot, watch youtube until my brain is fried, all the while not thinking about who has to pay for this)
How do I moderate negative feelings, not go entirely on on end of ‘you are a manipulative, selfish, indulgent, degenerate, waste of a youth, do the world a favour and kill yourself, you deserve a life sentence or a death sentence’ followed by immersing back into the same addictions in the sense of ‘My name is Prakash and I am an alcoholic, so I shall drink till I black out tonight’, a kind of being harsh on myself but also keeping myself stuck in the addiction/dissociation (self-cruelty) and ‘you were harmed and have been stuck in a chronic giving up cycle that you didn’t realise for a while, and are still at a loss over how to break from it, you didn’t really realise why you were doing some of the things you were doing, and deep down you aren’t someone who wants to hurt others’ followed by immersing back into the same addictions (self complacency)…. how do I balance this complacency and this cruelty, both of which I believe are true….
How do I do all this while studying, applying for a job and learning the relevant skills ? related question, how do I grieve while working, studying, etc. ?
I think I am generally asking about how to be accountable to myself after years of lying to myself, generally being ‘shameless’ and not taking any responsibility….
——————————————-
I appreciate your advice and thank you for reading this far.
Regards,
Prakash
Hi Prakash,
I am in my early 20’s and also still financially dependent on my abusive parents (they pay for my college expenses, medical expenses, insurance, all of the “big” things- but i have started working this semester to slowly change this)
I could offer a few words of advice:
First, on addiction: Have you tried any 12 step fellowships? These are free, online and in-person communities for addictions, and they exist for technology, food, alcohol, and many other things. I was in a 12 step community for technology, and it really helped me move up in life. However, I think 12 step communities are also very close-minded and unwelcoming of individual thought, so be careful. They helped me break out of major addiction and isolation, but they will push the idea that you need to stay in the community forever in order to stay sober, but I disagree. All this beind said, they are an invaluable resource. There is also Adult Children of Alcholics and Dysfunctional Parents, but I found it more frustrating than helpful. However, these things exist and are out there.
Second, you may have spent their money frivously, and avoided responsibility for your life in major ways. But that isn’t the same as suffering abuse at the hands of parents, who are people in power. You’ve caused harm to yourself and others, but that doesn’t make you worthless, evil, or hopeless. It doesn’t make you a bad person or an anomoly- It is normal. You are hurt, so you hurt others. However, you’re doing a miraculous thing by deciding to break out of these unhealthy patterns and learned behaviors and want more for yourself. That is admirable.
Trauma and suffering from abusive parents, in the past and present, naturally makes us self destructive and impairs our ability to handle life. I have struggled to regulate my emotions and not act out in various ways- I am just now becoming a relatively emotionally stable person, that doesn’t go crying to my ex or to the Internet in destructive ways when things are not going well. It takes time, you’re not alone, and you’re worth it- life is worth it.
Hi Riya,
Thanks for your reply. I take it you’re living in India too ?
honestly, I don’t even know if I want to or am trying to get better. I am simply avoiding doing work, sleeping on deadlines, and not studying, and I want to to die then because what else to do…. otherwise im watching youtube for 20hours a day and bingeing on junk poison food.
i havent tried 12 step programs. part of me does wonder if they will help. because no one can come to my room and make me do things, and without the healthier thing of study and applying for jobs to distract me, this idle mind will turn into a devils workshop of addictions. But I am avoiding doing work so ..
sometimes it even feels wrong to say my parent were abusive, because I too was oppositional, and rebellious, aggressive in my own right since childhood. maybe I harmed them just as much as they harmed me ?
even looking at daniel mackler’s youtube videos, Ifear that if he, in spite of all of his journey, is only partially healed from his traumas and has a job that not everyone can have (like this interesting mix of therapist, filmmaker, idk what he does now for living), then will I ever be able to work in this life ? you ether ave to be the first or the best to be successful. daniel and many others are already the first to talk about childhoood trauma and healing. i am sure I am not very likely to be the best.
what do I do.
idk. really feels like I should just .
this will ever be solved. how do I do it ? how do I keep in control, not avoid my feelings, etc?
Hey Daniel. I was wondering if you could do a video in regards to Trauma healing with Lyrics creation / Poetry? I’ve talked with my psychologist and she said that writing lyrics can help with recovery. I have been writing lyrics for a while for myself to have a place to ”complain” but when I started to write about my issues in regards to porn addiction after repeatedly doing the same mistake I broke down. It seems like putting things on paper / words does something to you.
Thanks for the idea! Wishing you the best.
Daniel
Daniel could you make a video about euthanasia for mental health conditions in places like canada? Best wishes.
Hi DJ,
Thanks for the idea!
Daniel
Dear Daniel,
Thank you for your generosity for making available your wonderful and extremely helpful website and youtube channel. There are few resources available of this high quality. Please keep going!!!
There are more resources for beginning and continuing for a while in healing than there are for persevering for 20-40 years and, hopefully, even finishing. Would you please consider making some videos or writing some writings specifically about subjects relating to advancing as far as possible or even finishing the self-therapy process?
You are now in the 25th year of your self-therapy process, is that correct? What are you doing now to heal more? Internally, is there anything you can share about what is happening in your self-therapy process during this year? Are you recovering more traumas? What are you feeling? What would a check-in be like for you? Is there anything different for you now than 5, 10, 15, or 20 years ago?
Would it be useful to make videos about these any of these subjects:
weekly, monthly, annual, decennial check-ins going forward
decennial recaps retrospectively:
1st decade
2nd decade
3rd decade so far
independent of such arbitrary time periods as years and decades, were there disctint phases for you, eg, first discovering healing? How would you characterize your current phase?
Do you know any people who are in their 4th decade of active self-therapy? This is possible now because the helpful resources began to be published in the 1980’s and 1990’s. Without revealing any confidential information, is there anything you can share about what they are doing to continue to heal? Are they (re-)discovering new old traumas [sic] still?
What are your thoughts looking forward, persevering until you finish self-therapy? What do you now think the rest of your process will be like?
Thank you,
Ryan
Hi Ryan,
Thanks for the ideas! I appreciate it and I’ll put it in my list of potential videos to make. Sending you warm greetings
Daniel
2 more occurred to me:
Do you find it helpful, in your current stage of healing, to periodically re-read Alice Miller’s books or any other books, articles, videos, etc.?
Do you know anybody whom you truly think has completed their self-therapy process? Is there anything that you could share about them that would be helpful to others?
Looking forward to your future videos!
Thank you, again.
Something about hearingof the self-therapy process as going for decades long spans of time makes me happy. Like life only getting better as we age. Thanks for bringing up the topic Ryan.
Hi Daniel,
In one of your videos from years ago, I remember you wanted to start a therapy school named “Institute for the Rare Soul”, but could not find people who really connected to their own healing process. As an intern clinician who shares many perspectives about healing and is critical about many aspects of psychiatry and psychotherapy with you, I wanted to know how you today relate to that name and the idea of such a school.
With the recent paradigm shift from transpersonal psychology, psychedelic therapy, and modern perspectives on healing trauma, focused on assisting people through their own individual healing journeys rather than being an expert, do you think such developments fit in to your school of therapy? I rather think so, as I see things such as Holotropic Breathwork, art therapy, and carefully used psychedelic therapy have the ability to help individuals understand who they really are, what they’ve been through, and who they would like to be, and start/further engage them in their own healing journeys.
BTW, your ahayausca video was immensly insightful. I have seen the parental rescue fantasy take the form of trying to take psychedelics as a cure. But, I think in a really healthy therapuetic relationship, when one is already engaging with their healing process, I see it as a powerful adjunct to one’s healing journey, as its really a representative of your psychological processes, experiences, and beliefs. What comes up can be faced without dissociation and processed, with some amazingly good results from research. Its in that context that I ask the above question.
Warm Regards,
Jonathan
Hello Daniel,
Thank you for being brave and giving others the power to be. I would like to bring the subject of domestic violence and why it is so common for women? It actually happened to me and is still happening. How do we forgive ourselves for letting someone treat us like that?
I know you are getting a lot of questions but I would greatly appreciate your answer,
Take care ❤️
I am not Daniel, but I thought to reply to you here as a person who knows what you are talking about (and a woman). I have also been in abusive relationships – and have recently been discharged / let go / discarded by my abuser. I think it is a repetition compulsion – trying to understand childhood trauma. I was not physically abused as a child, but I was raised by two fairly narcissistic parents, and I basically had no emotional connection to my father, who was emotionally shut down. So I think I am attracted to abusers because they mirror the dynamic from my childhood – I am trying to get close to a messed up person, a person who’s not really emotionally available. I keep on banging on his window but he’s so traumatised by his own childhood trauma that it’s like he’s not even there. And when my banging starts getting too much he starts becoming abusive to protect himself from my attempts to break down his defensive walls.
Because that’s the emotional patterning I had for 20 years in my family of origin, I believe that’s the reason why I am attracted to abusers, and when they start abusing me, I don’t leave, I try and fix them through my love. Which doesn’t work. I think the only the that can work for us is healing ourselves so we are no longer attracted to this kind of relational dynamic.
So, that’s my understanding.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the book “Why does he do that? In the minds of angry and controlling men” by Lundy Bancroft, but I think it answers those questions fairly well. Spoiler alert: it has to do with societal norms and lack of acknowledgment of abuse and the entitlement that stands behind it. (Instead, society largely excuses abuse, so do therapists.) Another great book is “The gift of fear” by Gavin de Becker. It is not about abuse but it illustrates how we, especially women, have been conditioned to not trust our gut and instead give people the benefit of the doubt, basically gaslight ourselves. But this book doesn’t even use the term “gaslight”, I believe, as it’s too old. (Meaning it has nothing to do with the current trend of labelling everyone narcissistic.)
Hi Daniel,
I just wanted to quickly thank you for what you do. I stumbled upon your youtube channel in a moment when I really needed it.
I have been in an uphill battle for as long as I remember and I’m still trying to figure out myself. But this is the first time anything could help me connect the dots that I have so far. Gave me new questions to ask myself to find answers I didn’t know were within me.
Journaling always confused me before, but I might try my hand at it again with a different perspective.
Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your points of view. Really helped me to figure out some things and pay attention to the real-me that had been buried for a very very long time.
Hi Daniel, I’ve been following your work over the pandemic and your channel is in alignment with my values. I wanted to let you know that my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia a decade ago, which turned my life upside down for the ten years and led me to my passion for mental health and healing work. Today, she’s healed herself holistically with my support and not big pharma. It was her soul journey that I had to detach from, the co-dependency. I read somewhere that schizophrenia is just unresolved childhood memories and it feels as if her soul knew what it needed to do, without the help of the community mental health system which does not cure people. Thank you for all of your videos, your channel gave me hope in very dark times.
Thank you!
Hello Daniel.
A year ago you made a video on politics and how it relates to unresolved childhood trauma. You analyzed this relation using two examples of actual politicians, and I couldn’t agree more with this analysis. But I think this goes beyond the people in position of some kind of political power, this also strongly relates to regular people, who are obsessed with politics, which to be honest – are a big chunk of population now.
Politics is an amazing tool for immature people to not look within self and to delegate any problem or discomfort they have to external factors. They might say that their life is miserable due to the fact that the politician X is in power right now, instead of their preferred politician Y.
This may be anecdotal, but each and every time I conversed with people that were deeply invested in following politics, they seemed reaaaally uncomfortable when I mentioned anything that may touch the subject of the importance of understanding own feelings, emotions and studying own family system. The path of the discussion pretty much always was quickly steered into a shallow political issue.
This observation is interesting to me, since it almost checks out every time, and the fact that the world has been infested with a plague of politics, meaning pretty much every thing is forcefully attached to politics in some way, this is a good indicator of how screwed the whole society might be.
Greetings from Poland,
Bartosz
Thank you!
Hello Daniel,
I was wondering if you have ever heard of the term “the identified patient”? It’s like a psychological scapegoat within a family system. It would be great to hear your insight on this.
Hi Aris,
I also think it is a good concept. I think I’ve mentioned it in some of my videos over the years, though I can’t remember. I definitely used that term and that concept in my work as a therapist. I think it is very relevant. Daniel
Thank you Daniel!
Hi Daniel,
What are your thoughts on bipolar disorder?
Best,
K
I actually made a video on the subject:
Critique of Bipolar Disorder — Thoughts from a Former Psychotherapist
https://youtu.be/KmnncunImXc
Hey Daniel,
Have you ever read “The Art of Loving” by Eric Fromm?
(Personally it’s the book that in retrospect jumpstarted my healing journey)
haven’t read it in a long while but i remember that there are some good things in it
Also, as a little bit of trivia, the author married Frieda Reichmann who was a therapist of one of your interviewees in your movie “Take these broken wings”.
Hi Roman,
I did read it years ago. I found it interesting. I also wrote a long article about Frieda Fromm-Reichmann, almost 20 years ago, and it’s on this website: https://wildtruth.net/frieda-fromm-reichmann/
The sad thing that I found is it actually she was Erich Fromm’s therapist, so basically she molested her own patient… Very sad.
Daniel
Hi Daniel,
Finally got around to reading the whole article and it was eye opening to say the least.
Not just the abuse of power and molestation of Erich Fromm, but that in general i found many similarities between her and my mother. On its own the comparison gives some hope and clarity for healing grief.
So thank you.
Roman.