Feel free to sign my guestbook, and share your experience of my website or my work. Note: your email will not be made public, though if you share a link to your website that will be public. I also want to add that I cannot reply to people’s messages here. I’m really sorry about that!!
583 entries.
Good day, Daniel.
Just over a few years ago, I escaped a 7 month long kidnapping experience.
Your videos on eating disorders and pretty privilege are my favorite videos so far.
But, your video on evidence-based psychotherapy caught my mind. More and more, when I see things that are evidence-based treatments, I see Faustian contracts.
Currently, my case is being investigated. I so wish you were local to me, not for therapy, but to buy you a coffee, at least, and listen to what you have to say.
Keep making videos on lesser discussed mental health topics!
Some topics I hope to see therapists speaking on is the trans-to-sex-work pipeline and the targeted kidnappings and exploitation of American upper class children and adults by immigrants and second gen citizens. If you’re not familiar with what I’m talking about, think about OnlyFans models. What they don’t tell you is that they often have pimps and are forced to do sex work as escorts. On every college campus is some student or older friend of a student or even rich father of a student is talking to every pretty girl he can find to convince her to do OnlyFans for his profit.
Well, that was my speech. Daniel, if you’re curious, you have my email.
Hi, Daniel. I have been a follower of yours for some time and am a 25 year old autistic female. Your videos have helped me more than you can imagine! I’m sure you’ve heard that many times—and true as it remains, I still struggle with a lot. I am seeking a little more guidance if that is allowed to ask on here! Please reach out, and if not, have a good day otherwise!
I have just viewed your video on Critique of Borderline Personality Disorder. A really excellent video, and thank you for your work.
There is one aspect of this diagnosis that you do not talk about, and that is sexism and the disproportionate use of this diagnosis for women. I think that this comes down to 3 possible reasons, maybe more:
1. Sexist expectations of women that do not allow women to be angry and to not be nurturing. So if they are angry and not nurturing they must be severely pathological = BPD and not some less pejorative diagnosis. (This is true whether they have a trauma background or just are not nurturing by temperament. If the therapist is sexist, this will be regarded as pathological.)
2. If the patient is a good-looking young woman with a male therapist, and the male therapist feels sexually attracted to her, he can shift the blame for his inappropriate feelings to the patient by labelling her BPD, "communicating" her sexual attraction to him through her countertransference--really his projection of his sexual desire onto her--etc. etc. (Notice that whether the female patient actually feels sexually attracted to the therapist or not is not part of the equation. There has been an actual study that shows that the more attractive a man finds a woman, the more likely he thinks that she is sexually attracted to him. "I want sex with her therefore she must want sex with me.")
3. Unstable relationships. You described one way that relationships can be unstable due to the trauma background of the patient. But women grow up in a highly sexist world, and if they react to the sexist expectations placed on them, that can also create "unstable" relationships. (Like being angry when hit by a sexist trope. The sexist person doing this doesn't see themselves as doing anything to provoke that anger.) If they have an abusive boyfriend, that can look like an "unstable" relationship to a therapist looking to make this diagnosis. There are so many ways to create "unstable" relationships in our sexist world without it being a problem residing somehow in the woman.
Yes, I was given this diagnosis by a sexist therapist and all three of the above things were present. But the diagnosis was really due to #2, and the rest were just icing on the cake, so to speak.
Therapy with him was a constant diminishment of my intelligence, which did not send up red flags because I was getting the same from all sides. For example, my failure to panic over a comprehensive exam (because he'd panicked over his) was a sign of pathology in me, per him. I passed the exam. My failure to panic was really as sign that I was smarter than him, but of course he could never admit that. (This was only one of many indicators, which he never seems to quite grasp. I see it now, looking back.) So my intelligence and accurate assessment of my preparation had to be pathologized.
In "therapy" where the patient is constantly being put down by the therapist (who is not aware of what he is doing due to sexism) is not going to produce a good result long term, so that is another impetus for the therapist to label the patient with BPD, which as you say, blames the patient for the therapist's inability to help her. That can be a fourth reason.
mark passio has a very expansive podcast on mummy and daddy issues for our species. https://www.markpassio.com/podcast/478-woeih-show-168
Bro….tight
Hi, I would be grateful for your thoughts on writing one's life story as self therapy. I have seen the video you made about your autobiography. I have learned about writing one's recovery story. I have come across narrative therapy only in terms of the name, have not gone further to read about it. I remember notions of post traumatic growth. What, in your experience, is a fruitful way to proceed? To take wise risks for the opportunity to improve one's health. Thank you.
Hello Daniel! I've been watching your videos for a long time and i can say that you have helped me so much discovering myself and doing my self therapy. Its a very painful process, Im discovering feelings that i didnt know they existed! Sometimes i cry a lot, and I feel a lot of pain. But through this, i have started feeling stronger and hopeful. I just wanted to say hello and thanks for all the help and the hope you have given me.
I am very grateful to have come across your content.
Thank you for being here for everyone Daniel. I just watched your YT video for the first time, and you have made a positive uplift in my well-being that I desperately need. You are appreciated.
Can you possibly do a video on being a caretaker to a horrible aging parent?
My mom died last year she never got her affairs in order and now I have my father who is falling apart and refuses help. he won't pay his bills and lives in filth. He berates me when I make suggestions, saying HE knows what to do and he never does anything
I have paid his bills a couple of times and tried to help a couple of times. Fool me once as they say
My family never knew who I was, I didn't either. They didn't know who they were.
I hate that I am in this situation. I blame myself I should have walked away a long time ago.
I have tried in fits and starts now. this channel and your book are very helpful
thank You
I stumbled upon your videos on Youtube and I loved watching them! Then I saw you made a song, "The Seeker's Ballad" and liked it so much I thought I'd try and re-master it. So If you ever want a copy just let me know. I think it sounds pretty good. Honestly it's not much just added a smidge of effects.
My son Erick left this world on July 3 2021. Long story short, he sends me songs and I am certain of it. Last night, he sent me Seekers Ballad, a song he had left for me on a playlist he made he for me. I cannot express the joy and healing that has unfolded for me because of that song. I got to searching and found your documentary on healing homes and I have to find a way to do this. I have another son, lost in addiction and recently "diagnosed" with bipolar or schizophrenia, (they haven't decided). Your song, your angle has given me hope for him and for honoring my son who is no longer here. it has given me a purpose to continue living, and in my truth, I'll find my home. The home I strived for my family and others, but it was not due to an alcoholic and abusive husband and father of my boys. Thank you for the refreshing perspectives, beautiful songs and enlightening insights. Love and being real and honesty. Just know you are greatly appreciated.
Hi Daniel,
Found your YouTube channel recently.. got blocked from my yt account so couldn’t leave a comment! thanks for sharing so much of yourself with the world, thanks for the support!
Anyway, one of your videos talks about the power of “not forgiving”.. my parents hurt me a lot and have broke contact with them now, it’s been years.. wish I could tell them I love them and forgive them (which I do).. I pray for them but can’t face talking to them..
I wondered what your opinion of this short video is.. a father forgiving the serial killer who killed his daughter.. don’t know if he really forgave him, can’t imagine being in that situation but it touched something very deep in my heart and I know in general love is always the answer, but obviously sometimes you have to love people from a distance..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4GCFv57hUk
Dear Daniel ,,,
I just wanted to say your video's helped me so much ... I didn't find out about this parental covert abuse untill I was 42yrs ,, got into therapy after my substance abuse ,, learned all about this dynamic ,,, 16 yrs sober now ,,, But I sometimes get angry about this ,,, mostly over the death of my oldest brother who was driven to do drugs because of their abuse .. I also almost died also ,,, thank you for putting these video's out ,,, people need to know that they are not alone ,,,
HI!
Interesting content. Thanks for being honest, that's really hard to find nowadays.
What about the Conscious Community you mentioned in 2015? Does it exist?
I've been thinking for a long time on the childhood trauma. Personally, I don't have any big trauma history (violence, rape, abandon, etc). I had a comfortable childhood and nice parents. But I really feel hurt in many simple aspects and situations. My conclusion is it's impossible to raise a human being without trauma. The raising process is traumatic itself, there is no other option. Live is a traumatic experience.
Daniel, I thoroughly enjoy your videos and life experiences along with a professional narrative; i find an additional awareness with my childhood/adolescent frame of reference(s); and find it’s a great addition with IFS therapy. “No such thing as “bad” parts”! Since living a false (S)elf unbeknown to myself led to this “clinical” term “acute psychosis”. And truly coming to grips I had to look to see what really truly happened to me and the seriousness of the assaults that took place on me in 1988 and throughout my years to hear me on this how a part brings to my attention; WHEN I TURNED 16 WITH MY DRIVERS LICENSE”!!!!!! How SO NOT ironic! I find your videos very valuable.
God Bless
Brian
Daniel,
I have no words to sum up what your content means to me. The clouds are parting and I'm seeing so much more clearly. Healing is taking over me. Please continue this work. You are healing lives, and helping to heal this broken humanity. You are a treasure. Perhaps in the future I will be more detailed, precise about the revelations you are making, but for now I just want you to know how grateful I am for your decision to be bold and embark on this untraveled path. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made to help all of us.
Daniel, I recently found your videos on YouTube and am so glad I did. The way you speak is the most authentic I have heard and I resonate with many of your experiences. While my parents always appeared great to everyone on the outside, I was struggling and I was so confused as to why. However, I felt deeply unvalued and as a result have an extremely hard time opening up to others, social anxiety and anxious attachment. I was often told I was a terrible and ungrateful child, as I always had food and shelter and a great life. It was not until my 20s I realized my family was maybe slightly abnormal and many parents and children actually hug and say they love each other. On some level I assumed most others were as disconnected from their parents as I was. I love what you say about having a spirit to rebel, as I feel that was me. I was always angry at my mother especially, and I believe it was unconscious - I was angry she didn't tell me she loved me or accept me. But of course, I wasn't able to connect the dots at such a young age. Just want to say thank you so much for your videos, they are seriously the best and I'm having a great time going through them. I'm so glad you still post new videos as well! Much love
Hi Daniel, thank you for sharing all the wonderful videos. I've really gotten help from each and everyone I've watched so far. I'm all the way in the Caribbean, I mean that's not too far from the States but I'm just so happy some how your page landed on my YouTube recommendations. Your work will definitely pay off in many ways. So much has gone on in my life leaving me confused and making me feel worthless, and I've struggled to find who I really am, life has taught so many lessons the hard way. I can definitely relate to the feeling of putting down yourself to be what others want, however your guidance will definitely help light my way. Thanks again Daniel and keep up the good work.
Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I'm currently going through the first fighting steps in a dark chapter of my life. The youtube algorithm suggested one of your videos to me today and it's been almost addicting to listen to them. I find it funny how life throws things at us when we're ready for them, because if I found out about you a couple weeks earlier, not gonna lie, probably would've missed you. Thank you. Thank you for saying all those things that I've been craving to hear from my parents, family and partners. Thank you for doing it, not in a way that blinds me to my faults, but helps me look at them with an intent to fix. With hope. I hope you reach what makes you happy in music, movies, travelling and so on.
Sincerely,
Pres
Hello Daniel and All,
Daniel, in one of your videos you defined drinking alcohol as dissociation,
and it lead to a breakthrough here.
My drinking was an utter mystery to me: in the morning I'd swear off, but
by evening, I was off to the corner store again. Mystery.
If I reframe this mystery, and see it as my psyche's instinct to protect my abused self, I get it. It is a pause in my thinking, a time out, an ace up my
sleeve, an advantage over others (for a short while). I had the 'switch'
to my feelings.
Alcohol gave me the super-power to access the appearance of happiness.
But the intoxication of spontaneity soon would morph into drunk behavior and
future embarrassment - Another mystery? My psyche does not think very
far ahead or have a good memory.
Dear Daniel,
Three and a half years ago I became indescribably ill due to a too rapid withdrawal of two psychopharmaceuticals I had been taking for ten years.
There has been no recovery in recent years.
This Friday (16th) I will die by euthanasia, due to persistent unbearable suffering.
My loved ones have not doubted for a moment that I was harmed by medication, because despite absurd neurological symptoms, I have remained just the same person; there were no psychological issues. But from doctors and psychiatrists, I received hardly any recognition. As a result, I was denied care early in my illness that might have turned the tide.
It hurts me and my loved ones very much that I broke down from something that should have helped me.
I wanted to let you know that your song "The psych med song" gave me comfort, made me feel that I am not the one who is crazy. Thank you for that!
With heartfelt greetings,
Anniek (40)
Hi guys, I'm Satoru from Japan.
I have difficulty of conducting Daniel's self therapy partly because my traumas are a bit different than Daniel's.
My traumas are mostly neglects due to my Mom's mental issue (Borderline Intellectual Functioning), according to my fmr psychotherapist. She lacks ability of adequately raising children but she is super kind, caring and honest individual in her own way.
I did remember some traumas and did recovered to some extent over the last few years, but I'm still unemployed and on medication, feeling stuck!
Isn't it difficult to remember this kinda unintentional neglects?
Thanks.
Hello again! Apologies for multiple entries! I was wondering if you could touch on Maslow’s pyramid of needs. I personally have met very few who have self actualised. Many thanks!!
Hello Daniel! I recently watched your video “Parents fighting Traumatizes Children”. It very much struck home. Having grown up in a parental war zone where there was near constant bitterness and dismay over one another, it’s no surprise I ended up with a sub optimal attachment style. It’s relatively easy to understand this on an intellectual level, quit another story to surpass it on an emotional level. I understand that they were both very young, but still, it’s not rocket science knowing this behaviour harms your children. I mean they could literally see how physically distraught their children were. In any event, just wanted to thank you once again for the videos.
I left an entry not that long before this ,but I have to write another one now.Daniel ,I am so glad you are in the world ,I get so much comfort from your videos. Sometimes when I'm feeling triggered or traumatized I will do a pot luck and choose one of your videos and put it on to play ,it's comforting to hear you voice. Not only that though .....I will watch one of your videos through again sometimes and get so much more meaning from it and realise that 'you have hit the nail on the head' about something ,when I didn't realise it before.I think ,if we are lucky ,there are people out there in the big wide world who will give you the gift of mirroring you back to yourself .I have had a very intense experience recently where I started a new job and so many things happened there it was profound and magical.I got so much mirroring back of myself (especially from one person in particular) a lot of it was very ,very painful ,but I believe from the pain you can grow. I had so many harsh things happen and such a lot of intense mirroring ,it was a steep learning curve.I also had a very painful 'cutting off' and rejection by somebody. I have been learning so much about myself though. I have just watched your video 'An analysis of jealousy' .I thought until recently I didn't suffer from jealousy at all ,I think I was thinking more along the lines of 'when you are jealous because a boy you likes talks to a girl' ,like school playground stuff,I have always though 'hhmmffhh ...well I'm not a jealous person'.My recent painful experiences have caused me to dig inside myself and I realise (as you explain in the video) ,that jealousy is much more complex than that ,as you say ,there is a sense of entitlement because one believes the world owes back to the parts of ourselves that were never loved ,we are in denial that ,yes,unfortunately, we now need to attend to this ourselves and take responsibility for these parts of ourselves because 'tough luck' the world doesn't owe it to us ,I never realised before that I was acting this out on the outside world ,and that it was a kind of deep jealousy of others! So much clarity and healing ! You help me to process a lot of things and I find so much wisdom buried within your videos.Also ,as you say in the same video ,the uncovering of our true selves is so precious and valuable ,and once we do that ,and start living as our authentic selves there is no longer any need for jealousy
Hello Daniel,
First I wanted to Thank you for your beautiful existence, work, engagement, art and brilliant mind.
Second, do you know the works of dr James Davies like “Cracked: Why psychiatry is doing more harm than good?”
And third I would like to ask you if you agree with what I have written below:
The naming issue - importance of language
Psychology vs. psychiatry.
List of medical specialties by nomenclature:
endings: gr. -logía, eng. -logy “study of”:
Audiology and Phoniatrics - fields of Otolaryngology
Allergology
Anesthesiology
Cardiology
Neurophysiology
Dermatology
Venereology
Endocrinology
Gastroenterology
Gynecology
Microbiology
Neonatology
Oncology
Nephrology
Neurology
Ophthalomology
Traumatology
Pharmacology
Pneumology
Radiology
Rheumatology
Urology
Proctology
Immunology
Podology and Podiatry
Endings: gr. -iatreia eng. -iatry "treatment"
Geriatrics - from Greek gēras ‘old age’ + iatros ‘doctor’, on the pattern of paediatric . There is a distinction between geriatrics and gerontology. Gerontology is the multidisciplinary study of the aging process, defined as the decline in organ function over time in the absence of injury, illness, environmental risks or behavioral risk factors. However, geriatrics is sometimes called medical gerontology.
Pediatrics - Greek words: παῖς (pais "child") and ἰατρός (iatros "doctor, healer").
Obstetrics - From a Medical Latin obstetricus (“belonging to a midwife”), from Latin obstētrīx (“midwife”). Field combined with Gynecology
Phoniatrics - Phoniatrics and audiology is one specialty within otolaryngology.
Psychiatry
Podiatry and podology - here is the same problem as with psychology and psychiatry
Other endings and file names, e.g.:
Surgery
Emergency medicine
Internal diseases, internal medicine
Infectious diseases
Orthopedics
QUESTIONS:
1. Why has the name 'psychology' not been adopted by medicine as the name of the field? Why was another name invented for the field that deals with topics of the psyche?
2. Why don't we have ‘otolaryngiatry’, ‘endocrinoiatry’, ‘oncoiatrics’, ‘uroiatrics’ and so on? If we create the name ‘socioiatry’, will we create a branch of medicine dealing with the treatment of society? If we add “iatry” to geology, will we create the profession of an earth doctor?
3. What would happen if all psychology were transferred to the medical field? Is full medicalization of the psychic world the right move? I don’t think so, so...
4. For the logic of naming maybe we just transform psychiatry into a clinical psychology?
Quote from Wikipedia: clinical psychology - a branch of applied psychology dealing with the prevention, diagnosis and therapy of mental and behavioral disorders, i.e. disturbances in the regulation of human relations with their environment.
What about disturbances in the regulation of relations between the environment and the individual? Does this already belong to sociology, or maybe ‘sociatry’?
6. Why can't a psychologist or a psychotherapist write a sick leave from work? Why can't they have the ability to write a sick leave and I have to rely on the insight, judgment and will of a group of people I don't trust?
The conclusions of Allen Frances - “the lead editor of the fourth edition of nt the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (universally known as the DSM-IV), the guy who wrote the book on mental illness, confessing that ‘these concepts are virtually impossible to define precisely with bright lines at the boundaries.’ ‘There is no definition of a mental disorder. It's bullshit. I mean, you just can't define it.’ Frances argued (in Gary Greenburg's 2013 book about the DSM-5, The Book of Woe) that these labels are still crucial to treatment, and he warned, ‘If you puncture that noble lie, you'll be doing a disservice to our patients . . . . A lot of false beliefs help people cope with life.’
Have Allen Frances just said that you can treat delusions with delusions? …
https://www.wired.com/2010/12/ff-dsmv/
https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/01/acknowledge-psychiatry-religion/
In summary my main ideas are:
1. Transforming psychiatry into clinical psychology
2. Meeting of whole world's Psychological Associations with Psychiatric Associations and Patients Associations to conduct joint conversations about Mental World and Mental Health.
'Our Options for Old Age: Wisdom or Decrepitude' - just watched it on your youtube ,absolutely love that video ,so profound and true ,very helpful to me at the moment
You are a light in the dark - a truth teller. We need more. Never stop....and thank you.
63 y.o. dealing with cptsd from childhood trauma. father sexually abused me from age 12-13. Mom was clueless, older brother was an extreme and hateful bully. Been “in” therapy for 3 decades with various practitioners, but still feel broken. Father died about 6 years ago and I still cannot cry about it. People probably think I am cold-hearted, but I can’t force tears. Will be checking out your books. I find the concept really intriguing. Thank you.