[Written around 2005.]
The definition of child abuse is simple: whenever the spirit of the child is disrespected the child is abused. Abuse of the spirit of the child can take many forms, from the overt forms of child abuse that conventional society is able to accept – such as overt sexual abuse, physical violence and the extremes of neglect – to whole realms of abuse that fall below society’s radar and are considered normal and healthy forms of parenting. Continue reading
[I wrote this essay in June of 2011.]
Many parents have asked me, “Who is your intended audience for this website?”
This is often followed by their admission that they feel alienated or attacked by my writing. Not infrequently, this is followed by a suggestion that I rewrite my website. Although they acknowledge that some parents can be terrible, other parents, they say, are looking for help, and can’t get it from a website that labels them as abusers.
Although I recognize that parents need help, helping parents is not the primary purpose of this website, because parents as a group are not my intended audience. My intended audience is the child: the child within everyone, the wounded self within each of us who was never fully heard, never fully recognized, and never fully nurtured by parents who themselves were never fully heard, recognized, or nurtured. In order to speak directly and honestly to this audience, I take the side of the child. If I did anything less I would fail at my mission. Continue reading