[Written around 2004.]
Every rapist was himself raped. Although all were probably raped in body, all were definitely raped in spirit. No one who was not spiritually raped could ever bring himself to rape another. It would be contrary to human nature.
Likewise, every child molester was himself molested spiritually, his boundaries disrespected viciously by those controlling his fate, just as theirs were also disrespected long ago when they themselves were vulnerable and full of passionate need.
Every torturer was himself tortured, every sadist himself treated sadistically, and every incest perpetrator incested. Every vicious prison guard was a prisoner in his own vicious family, and every abusive husband spiritually beaten by his parents. Every sport hunter was himself spiritually hunted for sport, and everyone who derives pleasure from humiliating others was himself once trapped in the cycle of humiliation.
Traumas must be healed if the intergenerational cycle of traumatizing is ever to be broken. There is no other way.
[Added note: As of 2013 I’ve still never met a person with a history of seriously violating others, who, when I had a chance to speak with him or her in any depth, proved this essay wrong.]
God knows who kickstarted the domino of the first trauma. Bunch of particularly blood thirsty chimps probably. But does it matter? We are human beings now aren’t we?
Everyone who chooses to pass on the torture or rape has a choice: to stop passing the pain to others. Especially after they have done it more than once to others. They can choose to STOP. Especially when the child or victim is obviously IN PAIN. They can choose to seek help, to stop their hurtful compulsion.
Every repeat offender who don’t seek help cannot be excused by their own past trauma.
Spiritually, yes, sexually no.
There was an experiment where convicted paedophiles were asked if they, themselves, had been sexually assaulted as children. They put what are commonly, but wrongly, called, “Lie Detectors,” on some. The ones without lie detectors had a high rate of claiming they had survived childhood sexual assault. The ones with lie detectors reported it at around the same rate as the general population.
It is a popular myth that paedophiles have been sexually abused themselves. It does survivors of child sexual assault no favours as people then assume that survivors are at a high risk of becoming abusers and this is not true.
Paedophiles sometimes use this idea as a way of getting sympathy and refusing to take responsibility for themselves.
Paedophiles have been traumatised, why else would they want to do things that are harmful and frightening to children and which they must at some level know the child does not enjoy? But in most cases it is other gross traumas, childhood traumas, and not sexual ones.
I think a lot of them have repressed traumas of childhood sexual abuse. They may have a feeling or sense that they were sexually abused, yet they don’t have any conscious memories. The traumas may have occurred in (very) early childhood, may have been very/extremely traumatic, and/or involved (close) family. Either way, they probably lacked a helping witness and have never had a good counsellor or psychotherapist help them recover their repressed memories and heal from the trauma. Many people don’t want to believe a man who claims or thinks he was sexually abused. And lie detectors aren’t always accurate. Hillary Clinton defended a man who raped an underage girl, and he passed the lie detector test, and she said that she would never trust lie detector tests ever again. If a man doesn’t have conscious memories of sexual abuse (yet believes he may have been sexually abused), of course he might not be able to answer the lie detector “accurately”/”authentically” with his “body” (feelings) as opposed to his conscious mind (“abstract words”) [which may take precedence if his memories of sexual abuse are repressed].
HILLARY CLINTON defends PEDOPHILE, laughs at 12 year old VICTIM in a COMA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rKCA_myQfI
‘One feminist sociologist sent me the results of her study of youths serving prison terms for attacking and raping women on the street. As it transpired, the rape and debasement of anonymous women had nothing to do with sexuality, although these men are referred to as “sex offenders.” Rather, they were motivated by revenge for the helplessness and defencelessness that they themselves had once suffered—a reality they had subsequently completely repressed, and continued to repress, to the detriment of others. What became clear was that all these men had been sexually abused by their mothers in early childhood, by way of either direct sexual practices, the misuse of enemas, or both. Various perverse practices were used to keep the child in check without its having the slightest chance of defending itself.’ — from “Breaking Down the Wall of Silence” by Alice Miller