Thank you for posting your videos. Yes, it's incredibly difficult for a man to talk about being molested (physically or emotionally/psychologically) by his mother. For me the most damaging were physical. I can recall 15 - 20 incidents. Each brief, but just 1 was enough. But I also recall incidents like you describe. When I had my first and only girlfriend in HS I was 16. I told my mother nothing, somehow knowing on some level that she would sabotage it. I walked my GF home for weeks. After leaving her at her house, on the way home I went by a factory where an older brother worked. He saw me and waved. A couple of days later, in front of my mother, he asked if I took an indirect route home to avoid someone bullying me. I felt trapped and fessed up to having a GF. My mother said "ooh, you have a little girl" and laughed. As if I were a child. Somehow I knew it was over. I just didn't understand why. In the next couple of months she would ask "so how are you and the little girl?" She would ask as if she were talking to a little boy. I broke it off with my GF after about 4 months. I knew better than to have another GF while I still lived at home. I never had an experience like your description of the pornography story. But it "felt" familiar. She was, and remains, a vile and manipulative human being. She's over 80 years old now and she still manipulates. I see her for what she truly is and have no contact with her. Everyone else sees her as a victim/saint. As you said, the perfect. I'm glad you brought the issue to light. I've never been able to hold onto a relationship with a woman. And I was 50 years old before finally talking to a professional about my abuse. I'm no longer young. But strangely enough I finally have some hope that I may yet be able to navigate a good relationship. Thanks again for posting. Every little bit helps.