I love listening to your videos! I think if I could talk with you, I would feel understood. I always feel like I’m observing the world as if I’m standing on a tower, while the majority of people lives down in the city. It needs both. Maybe my job is to be a guardian and tell what I’m observing from this tower ? As a child I was dreamy but at the same time I felt that sth is wrong in our society. Me and other eating disordered girls shared the same thought in our minds: adult = dead. As if they only live in their heads. Heart, soul and body seems like a suppressed zombie. I felt that there’s sth dark in this version of being an adult as a child. If being adult means that I should suppress what it means to be human, then I didn’t want to become an adult. I want to run spontaneously playfully without sports clothing in every age (if I’m still able) just for happiness about being alive and having energy inside. Children do this because they live with their heart. I might be an alien. I feel like I’m the only one with this urge, but still scared to accept myself. For me it’s very important to live a life, where my heart is able to breathe. I don’t want to play these ego games.