[Written around 2005.]
It is ironic that many people, when I speak of celibacy as an ideal, argue that following my lead would drive our species to extinction. In our overpopulated world of nearly seven billion people – who are driving us to the edge! – can we really fear celibacy and the path to enlightenment so much?
The person on the road to enlightenment is a gift to humanity. If he becomes celibate he passes his gift along not to descendants but laterally to all who hear his message. He is the progenitor of something radically new, and he offers the world something far more vital than yet another unformed child.
The greatest gift any child can give to the world is to become fully conscious and fully connected with the truth within, and if a parent is mature he can wish no better future for his child. But if a parent is the most mature he has no children and devotes himself to parenting the burgeoning consciousness of the inner child within his own self. This route is terribly painful, which is why most bypass it.
The enlightenment seeker incriminates his parents for having had him. He grows to understand their pathologically selfish motives. He realizes how much they failed to give him and how much they blocked his progress. Had they been healthy they would have done life’s healing work themselves and spared him the trouble. But they cheated, and his existence is the result. Because of his self-examination he knows it, and does not want to perpetrate this same cheat on innocent others.
The seeker is inherently fair. He knows that until he reaches full enlightenment there is no way he can reproduce without passing along some self-hatred to his children. This is the ugly law of the repetition compulsion.
Yet oddly, when he does reach full enlightenment, he will have no need to reproduce, because his soul will have already reproduced a million times over.
Excellent logic and spot on. Celibacy is for people who seek isolation not a full life.
I’ve always considered it a bad idea to have children myself because of my own trauma. I really, really wouldn’t want to pass this trauma onto any children of mine. There is a book that states there are two big problems in our world, and one causes the other. The problem is that we let the wrong people do the parenting. In an enlightened culture, the biological parents do not raise children, because it is wildly recognized that they are unfit for this task. Instead, the elders raise the children. The ones that are older than 50-60. They have had time during their lives to heal. They have had time to learn who they are. They are the ones who are ready to pass this onto children. The second problem is caused by this first one. Sexual energy is madly repressed and not harmoniously expressed. The reason for this is that biological parents are held responsible for raising children, which they are unfit for. Sex, therefore, especially in our young, is an unwanted thing. We do not want them to have children, so we tell them not to have sex. “To fuck up” comes from this. All teenagers want is to explore their sexuality and to engage in expressing it. But they are told not to. The result is much frustration, violence, stupidity and anger. We are angry with our culture, for having done this to us. We are angry with our peers, for tempting us and denying us. We are angry with ourselves, for allowing it to happen. We are angry at a lot of people because something as wonderful as sex is treated as something so hideous. And we are angry with the Self for feeling so good about something so ‘bad’. This anger then gets channeled into a glorification of violence.
interesting, Bart — thanks for sharing!
Hi Bart. You’ve hit on many deep truths when you say “All teenagers want is to explore their sexuality and to engage in expressing it. But they are told not to. The result is much frustration, violence, stupidity and anger…. We are angry with our peers, for tempting us and denying us.” I applaud your clarity.
Our society’s so cruel to teenagers. Teenagers want to compete, prove themselves worthy, obtain useful skills, contribute useful and courageous actions to their communities, and, yes! — have lots of sex with one another! Being stuck in the prison-like, stultifying atmosphere of school/college is the LAST place a healthy teenager should ever be. Young people are essentially being institutionalised by the education system.
So, “society” or “the system” is to blame. But we don’t see this. Instead, we project our frustration and rage onto the opposite sex. This is a key point. WE BELIEVE IT’S THE OTHER SEX THAT’S THE PROBLEM, but it’s the macro environment that’s the problem.
After the bad start imposed by our education systems, to make matters worse, there’s also online porn, divorce court, co-parenting, Tinder, credit cards, and airbrushing. (In my city, some brothels have closed because Tinder put them out of business!!!!! This proves a society in TURMOIL).
Also, I have a friend, a 20 yr old man, who told me that he’s gay, in his own words, “BECAUSE none of the girls want me.” Instead of working on improving himself, and overcoming a challenge, his solution is to alter his sexual preference. That’s the strength of the male sex drive at age 20.
Is it men’s fault the world is like this? NO. Is it women’s fault? NO. WE NEED TO STOP BLAMING AND RESENTING EACH OTHER. These are macro, systemic problems. All of us can be part of the solution. If we want to be.
I read somewhere awhile back that the entire population of the world could live in the state of Texas with the same population density as new york city. Do you really think overpopulation is that big a concern?
Regarding Celibacy if you truly are a loving, empathic and peaceful man or have achieved “full enlightenment” as you put it please have children. I beg you from the bottom of my heart society is desperate for good parents and we cant afford to lose you. This world will never be a better place unless healthy people start having children and the unhealthy ones stop.
Surely you don’t think the population density of our cities is a good thing. There is no space to grow food. There is no space for nature to process our wastes. There is no space for nature to clean our air. There is no space for nature to recycle our water. We need a lot of nature, and we have more people than nature can handle.
As to the “lateral parenting” argument, I agree. I agree with lateral parenting. You do not need to get children to influence people in a good way, because “your children are not your children”, you don’t own them, and if anyone owns them or bears responsibility for them, it is the entire Tribe of Humanity. So the strict vertical line of passing wisdom through by way of your children… seems like a rather restricted belief.
Nevertheless, I do not believe that the healthy should set an example for the unhealthy that *would* cause human extinction in the long run as surely as overpopulation would. At some point, everyone having reached enlightenment, not having children would become a problem. Moreover, to maintain a healthy tribal structure, as well as family structure, we surely need to replenish some of our dead?