The Spiritual Rights Of The Child

[Written around 2006.]

1) The child has the right to expect his parents to meet all of his needs – and it is their responsibility to live up to his expectations.

2) The child has the right to feel that he is the center of the universe – and most importantly, his parents’ universe. This is what allows him to grow optimally.

3) The child has the right to be angry, hurt, sad, even rageful when his parents fail to meet any of his needs. It is his parents’ responsibility to seek to understand exactly what they did wrong to produce this reaction in his, and to modify their behavior to meet his needs.

4) The child has the right to have parents who have healed all of their own traumas from their own childhoods before they created children, and thus not to replicate their traumas with him.

5) The child has the right to have parents who have resolved all of their ancient unmet childhood needs before they had him – and to not use him to meet their needs, which is to some degree inevitable wherever they have not healed their own wounds.

6) The child has a right to have parents who, once they become parents, make the nurturance of his growth and development their primary priority in life, and make all other priorities in their lives, including their own careers, pleasures, and goals, come second to the child’s needs.

7) The child has a right to have full and massive respect from all those who come into contact with him, starting with his parents. We live in a world where many people and situations beyond parents can traumatize the child, and it is the parents’ responsibility to buffer the child from any and all potentially traumatizing influences.

8) The child has the right to confront his parents as he sees fit, in order to grow, explore his world, and express himself. His parents are there for him, and he does not owe them anything – and this right continues throughout his life. Where his parents do their job well, however, he will be grateful to them and will have no desire to confront them.

9) The child has the right to parents who are incredibly self-reflective, flexible, and growth-oriented themselves. Through this they can relate optimally to him, which is their responsibility.

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