[Written around 2006.]
We are all comprised of the masculine and the feminine. Our job on earth is to balance the two within ourselves in accordance with our soul’s deepest truth.
The masculine is the mind, the feminine the heart. The feminine is the emotional, the masculine the rational. The masculine is form, the feminine content. The feminine is passion, the masculine perception. The masculine drives the car, but the feminine is the engine and the gasoline. The feminine is the root of the masculine.
A person who has lost his inner balance of masculine and feminine lives forever in search of it. The balance lies within his soul’s deepest template, buried underneath the distorted, trauma-laden patterns imposed on him primarily by his family, by his parents. Until he resolves his traumas he will be partially walled off and blocked from accessing the full truth within, and will forever search for his missing balance externally.
He will be drawn to others whose imbalances complement his own, and he will attempt to incorporate their imbalanced selves into himself to make himself feel whole. If blocked from his inner feminine he will be drawn toward those blocked from their masculinity – and compensating for their blockage by being over-feminine. If blocked from his inner masculine he will be drawn toward those blocked from their femininity – and compensating for their blockage by being over-masculine.
But merged relations with others will not make up for his imbalance within. He cannot make others a part of himself. Such relationships are based on mutual self-deception and are always be at risk of collapse – just as our greater world and ecosystems are at risk of collapse because of the global imbalances of our species. Only the balance resulting from inner resolution brings deep stability.
Each of us was created in balance, and if we are to live and die in peace – both as individuals and as a species as a whole – we must find our balance once again.
An underrated blog post, still rings true today. I’m friends with a lot of “hipster” guys and lots of them date bisexual women who have strong traits of the masculine. I used to be this way myself, only having shifted in taste of women after my first big cleanse of grieving my childhood and past patterns. Now I prefer women who have a better balance themselves. It’s interesting because my mother was strangely against my being masculine (and now that I think of it, she has many masculine traits herself, being brash and honest and unempathetic), and my father was (and is) fairly masculine but also very tepid and differential. Mom had a much bigger influence on me since Dad was always working and surely didn’t take much part in ruling the home the few waking hours a week he was home and present. I think my mom stamped out my masculinity in a lot of ways (that I, surely enough, don’t actually need to elaborate fully in this comment) which caused me to have a very feminine profiling, and attracted to temperamentally masculine women. But after grieving lots of things in one go, my taste changed. No idea quite yet what that says about me or humankind writ large. But a thought provoking and, in today’s modern times, uniquely poignant and accurate blog post Daniel!
Thank you for sharing this, Colin.
Daniel
wow! this is really deep and insightful.
i wonder if there is a specific way to achieve this balance or at least to reconnect with both my feminine and masculine? or this is a result of self reflection and self analysis in general?
thank you, Daniel!
i think just good old hard inner work…