[Written in 2004.]
Our culture celebrates fatherhood because our culture celebrates denial. Our culture does not celebrate the individual knowing himself, nor in any way knowing the truth of his father. Our culture celebrates honoring his false self. People who study their parents’ full selves are on shaky ground in this culture. If they step too far out of line the culture treats them as enemies. And with good reason: they are enemies.
People motivated to learn greater truths have given up on the culture. They have long since sought peace through its acceptable avenues and it has failed them. They have honored their fathers’ images and have learned the misery inherent in this process. Their pain has taught them that their only hope lies in separating their fathers’ fact and fiction and seeking the deepest why. They are the few who sense the true direction for healing, and as they grow stronger they sacrifice more to travel farther. The new way is dangerous, but they are willing, because there is no other way.
The true road to heaven leads straight through hell. Heaven is here on earth. Heaven is differentiating from one’s parents. Heaven is becoming an individual and honoring oneself. Heaven is knowing the truth about who we are and where we came from. The heaven after death is just a fantasy for people who have lost hope of ever becoming happy while alive, and thus live only to die.
This is what their fathers taught them. This is not to be celebrated.
I think I agree with the heart of this… But some of your radical or idealistic views around family and parenthood/children seem to be affected by your own life experience and your work as a therapist. Obviously I don’t have a complete understanding of your views nor your life experiences – but I think the beauty of family is that we’re all imperfect humans helping each other grow. And there’s a lot of examples of family where it is the opposite for sure and I think that is where you are coming from. Like any radical views, radical views are going to have blind sides – and I wonder what your thoughts are on what your personal biases and blind spots may be. I’ve been enjoying your youtube videos and agreed with some and disagreed with some, but ultimately I think it is helping the people that needs the ideas you share. So I hope you keep making the videos and hope to get to speak to you one day!
This article can apply to the deification of mothers as well.
I can only hope that you get some help one day.
help to deny?
Bravo!! I for one agree. Why do they not have a chidren’s day. Where parents honour their child for the day and realise what a gift they have in having them in the first place. We do have to go through hell this get to heaven… i must be nearly there then soon lol. Having a child is such an overwhelming responsibility and so many fathers see it in the same way as right of passage…
There actually is a children’s day! It’s celebrated in Japan mainly, but it seems there are a few different dates recognized elsewhere as world children’s day. It is sad though, I’ve never heard it celebrated in the U.S despite being a real thing.