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would you ever consider doing a video on borderline personality disorder, or the concept of personality disorders in general? I have been diagnosed with BPD 8 years ago, since then I have been in and out of therapy. Around 4 years ago i went less and less and was working more in a way which you describe in this video series about self therapy, which helped me much more than therapy. I was forced into therapy, all the while being an active artist, also a writer. No one ever REALLY considered that my work as visual artist and writer could be a vital part of my process. Since I shifted my focus on internally working on myself and also stopped focusing on the diagnosis I have been doing much better. Considering the stigma attached to BPD and other personality disorders, I think it would make an interesting video/discussion. To my knowledge there are 255 combinations of criteria that constitute an analysis of BPD, then you are told basically you are emotionally unstable, hard to handle, angry, empty, people make BPD seem like a terminal illness and paint you in some pretty dark colors. So does this label really help? I don't think so. By now I have become much more open, calm and trusting and found ways of dealing with abandonment issues and rage. Therapists have mostly been a hindrance on this path. I don't say they are always, I am sure most have been well meaning and some do great work, I won't tell anybody not to try therapy, but the whole system of analysis, medication and therapy has made me worse (for example, I gained a benzodiazepine addiction which rendered me completely fucking useless for 2 years), while I was left picking up the pieces. Your critique of therapy made a lot of sense to me, liking your channel! All the best.
Hi Daniel, Thank you for your honest videos on psychotherapy and therapists. Everything you said was spot on for me. As someone who works in the field, I often wondered if I was the only one who saw that some therapists weren’t that good. When I befriended some of my therapist co-workers, I noticed that they were toxic and lacked empathy. I would feel sad that clients weren’t getting the empathy and care that they deserved. It’s a bit taboo to say that some therapists aren’t good, because people don’t want to admit it. Your videos are excellent. I am sure you have helped many of your former clients!
Everything you said about being a therapist resonates with me. I was a Vocational Rehabilitation Counsellor and often felt “actualized” in the intense world I found so fascinating, that I became unhinged. Journaling is not something I have set my mind to—I have many obsessions that prevent me from being free and happy. I, too, need to separate from my older sister who is a fundamentalist Christian with what I think are crazy impediments from leading a happy life. Thank you for the Alice Miller plug—I will look her up.
Dearest Daniel, I met your videos this morning for the first time, and feel so so grateful - you are for me a strengthening beautiful soul. I feel that the more I listen to you, the more my courage grows to be who I feel I am. My story in short, I am an Israeli, proffessional orchestra violinist in my past, a "spiritual teacher" (another label......) these days. I use eye radiation reading, healing and Astrology to try help people. So, if you feel it right for you, I am in your service, on the house. I wish you greater happynes and a long continuation of enlighting this "messy" world. Yours, Yigal Fisher
Interesting. I like your perspective - and your way of seeing the world. I like people who can think for themselves and dare to question the generally accepted 'truth'. If you asked me out I would probably say yes 😉
What are your thoughts on this newly floated “oppositional defiance disorder”? I had a coworker casually mention to me on the recent diagnosis of her two year old nephew due to his inexplicable lack of cooperation with his parents. I was baffled- my mother always referred to “the terrible two’s” when speaking of her children, as if to say it is about the age children truly begin to understand the power of the word “no” in combination with hellish temper tantrums. Reasonable discipline and growing seem to do away with it. I was shocked to hear the basic testing of limits and roles that children do is now being pathologized. But I have no expertise and perhaps they are referring to something else.
I just heard your Why you left Therapy video and about your personal trauma. My trauma situation is complex and multifactorial but all is better now. If I told you the story, you would never believe me. We have overcome the impossible. You are incredible and have a special gift. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Daniel Your utube postings have really interested me as I have recently had similar treatment and I am unsure of something in this would it be possible to engage with you for my own help?
Dear Daniel, Watching your videos has changed my life. There aren’t enough words or ways to say how much. These brought me to your website. This is where I learned about self-therapy. I’d never heard of self-therapy. I’d read some things on self-help from various authors now and again but nothing was very helpful. But your book on self-therapy “From Trauma to Enlightenment” is completely different. As I read it, things started to happen. And thank you for saying that self-therapy can be done in many ways. If you had said that it could only help by writing in a journal or reading lots of books I wouldn’t be where I am now. Self-reflection, self-questioning and inner dialogue are what I find most helpful. But your videos are what started me on this path. In them, you often speak gently and always respectfully, which means the world to me. I believe it’s why people are responding to you. Please keep them online for all to see. Your films are incredibly moving and beautifully done. It’s my hope and belief that these can and will begin to change the world. All I know for sure is that because of your generosity my own inner world has begun change, and I’m finding the person I once was long ago. I need to say thank you for your openness and honesty about talk therapy and especially therapists. My experience with these has not been good - they were harmful, to say the least. These made my already difficult life so much harder. You’ve said the truth about them, things I’ve always thought and felt but didn’t know how to say, and it wouldn’t have mattered if I had because no one I knew would have understood. But now I have hope. Thank you for giving me hope. I hope your website will always be there for me and all who need it. I’m forever grateful. You’ll never know how much. maria
Hi Daniel, I recently stumbled upon your video 'Childhood Trauma and the Process of Healing' on YouTube. I really appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing with the world your truth. I identify wholeheartedly with denial as a foundational stone in my family system, and I've removed myself from the dysfunction, only to find it lonely, isolating, and a place where one can be easily misunderstood. I thus identify, too, with 'healing as hell'; I'm 31 and going through my own version of it; I feel like a my heart's on my sleeve, and the my sleeve's rolled up! There's something Kafka-esque about recovery, no? About 3 years ago I became a friend of Bill's, and have since commenced work in mental health in a consumer/survivor capacity (and seen the limits - and lies - within the industry). I'd say I've got recovery fatigue, and I wonder, is this something that you've experienced too? It's hard, I think, to maintain courage in the face of an unpopular worldview, and few worldviews are less popular than the idea that childhood abuse and neglect are rife within our culture. Because who wants to be labelled parent-as-perpetrator? Equally, who wants to sit through, or be present to the fear and loathing one felt in childhood at the hands of their parents? I struggle to know my vocation, but I've sure devoted a considerable portion of my life to the construction of a avoidant, comfort-seeking personality. I've got my work cut out for me healing my trauma, I suppose. Anyway, I'm rambling. I wanted to get in touch with you and express my gratitude, which I've done. Thanks bro. Daniel
Hi Daniel. Have you read any of psychologist, Arthur Janov books? The 'Feeling Child' and 'Primal Healing' are so in-line with your view of healing our traumas from childhood.
Dear Daniel, -you remind me of a voice I had inside of me and a person I was long ago. That person was not accepted by anyone that I knew and that was absolutely devastating to me. The only way to survive was to remain in pretense by living in denial. The way I did that was creating so much loud clamering that I could no longer hear the voice while simultaneously changing who I truly was to fit in and be accepted by the people surrounding me. Thanks to you and other truth seekers I am finding that divine voice within me and who I truly am before the world made a mess of me. I am SO grateful you are being you today. It is helping me be me. ❤❤❤❤
Your films speak truths that need to be heard. Everyone’s experience needs to be respected protected, even when it is hard for others to understand - not pathologized and medicated. It’s about respecting every person’s dignity.
Dear Daniel, Your words have remained true over time to me. Thank you for validating what I’ve always sensed to be true. I’m forever indebted to you..
Dear Daniel, Your experiences in the mental health system and as a therapist in private practice resonate with me. I am so reassured by your skillfulness in helping anyone who finds your work realize that they are already well and whole. I’ve felt alone in my private campaign to help my clients make an honestly critical of psychiatry and, if need be, to rid themselves of psychiatry’s soul destroying “treatments” (drugs). I sincerely hope who find your videos are also reassured that there are a few good therapists out there who really do put their client’s best interests first and that see their clients as whole beings, not simply as a series of chemical reactions creating “problematic behaviors.” Frankly, in my 20 years of practice I’ve seen a lot of suffering people, but I’ve never seen a “diseased” one. Thanks again for your inspiration. Robert Barth LCSW
Dear Daniel, thanks for your videos, the openess you show in them and your lovely serious silliness when performing a song. I really appreciate what you're doing and will definitively keep on watching, learning and being surprised! Kind regards
HI , I just wanted to say thanks for the inspiring and thoughtful youtube videos. They are truly interesting, and I too am on a journey to find the true self and move beyond the now! ACA's Unite...lol.....!
I have watched your videos and they really of tremendous help to me. I'm someone who had always believed that my parents have always the best for me but the truth is many times they don't realise their toxicity and through existing cultures and family systems, and I went through really a shit ton of detours and discouragements; it's almost comical that in the end I have to depend on myself to heal, and it's ridiculous don't you think, the very help that was supposed to be promised and unconditional often turns out the opposite. Honestly I'm just disgusted by this whole thing. Therefore i really thank you for bringing it up to me that to feel that I'm not alone and what I think made sense because I relate a ton from your experiences.
Dear Daniel, I've been inspired by you, thank you. I'm interested in relationship in particular. We all carry wounding and health. I agree, be in a good place, love from surplus. I'm thinking at the moment that I/ we can only get to this through relationship(s). We need relationship(s) to grow and mature in relationship and heal. I know it's been transformative to end a relationship, to say no. But right now I'm staying put in something that feels grim a lot of the time and has done for a long time. But growth can be like that, (horse chestnut buds look so violent around the time they split the sheath to emerge) so why not in relationship? We don't know if we're transforming to die, or to blossom anew. If I don't learn what I'm learning within relationship, can I learn it? I could leave, take the iron out of the fire to let the heat sink in, and start again more whole. I think that's a wise path. But I'm not convinced it's the only one, though I have no idea if that it wisdom or fear! I can grow, do it in this one and then review. I think Rilke talks about the conventional path, obviously at a time when divorce/ separation was less easy, was to numb, or find some arrangement, at least that worked for the man. But he saw even then, that to leave and split up, is the same. So I'm curious what you think about transforming relationships from within. And navigating the subtleties of growth and turmoil and toxicity. Turning lead into gold means handling lead. Warmly, Amanda
Hi What a breath of fresh air your website is I quickly browsed through some of your essays they are very interesting and all go back to speaking at truth the mainly unspoken truths especially within families Many taboos are coming out now in the media but the emotional abuse that is carried out within families and continued within sibling abuse is still an ongoing taboo. And the denial. Because if all siblings are in denial it normalises their behavior If one would speak out and acknowledge your feelings and validate your words they will all have to hold a mirror up to themselves which none of them are prepared to do. This pathologises them as stated in your homosexuality essay. I never wanted children and made a concious descision and never regret not having them For I knew it would only make me a highly anxious parent worried that I will continue consciously or otherwise that cycle onto those children. Instead I work with children and as it happens have a particular strength in looking at emotional abuse within families which is often difficult to evidence and raise within families Regarding sexuality if two people can Unite and form a healthy loving respectful trusting relationship then that can only be a good thing. I know of too many heterosexual dysfunctional damaging relationships. Why aren't people talking about that and raising children within same sex relationshipsr. Should that not be the concern. Isn't it these unhealthy relationships that have the biggest impact on future society. It is within these dysfunctional relationships that children grow up and repeat the pattern
Daniel, I came to your blog after having seen your "Why I stopped being a therapist" video. I am a senior executive coach with many years of experience. I practice in Japan, and across culture. I, too, am leaving 'the field', and owing to a system that no longer permits me to hold my client's interest first. Your transition from your former field inspires me. Well done! I look forward to following your blog.
Hi Again - Shoot! I was watching your anxiety video and was so inspired to contact you that I paused the video and sent my previous comment. Then I finished the video and now I have one more thing to say. Any way, I too feel like the world is some kind of messed up cult. Those of us outside the cult need each other. It helps us feel better (saner, less lonely) in this dysfunctional world. So yeah, again, keep being you! The non-cult members need you : )
Hi Daniel - I just discovered your videos. They are so intellectually rich and emotionally deep. I wanted to say thank you and keep going! I so relate to many things you say including the bit about anxiety and having it after you be yourself in a strong way. That is my life experience too. Just know that when you put your videos out there and feel vulnerable that there are many of us out here watching and getting it and appreciating it on so many levels. Keep being you!
Hi Daniel, your ideas are very thought-provoking. I'm still considering and re-considering a lot of my opinions on the topics you discuss. I think I disagree with a lot of your content but I value your eloquent expression more than someone I would agree more with because you challenge the convention and a lot of my preformed (or casually formed) opinions.
Hi Daniel, Just wanted to share that you inspire me in a Betty Dodson kind of way. Of course I know you are not a radical sex activist like Ms. Betty, but you are taking a radical stand for discussing something so natural, (sex, trauma, abuse, bad parents) that makes so many people uncomfortable yet is the complete and utter honest truth. Thank you for being so courageous. It's people like you who give me the strength to continue my inner work and go against the grain. Those of us striving to be healthy are a minority!
Hi Daniel. I like your music! Stupid people having children, lol
Daniel. You are an amazing human being. I applaud the Universe for your existence! 😀
Hi Daniel, I just watched your video about why you quit being a therapist, and it feels a bit weird, but I just spontaneously wanted to say something I felt I see there: I see anger and frustration on your face, in your being, towards "the system". I also see something very deep and beautiful in your eyes. It looks as though and old, heavy identity is dying on your face (have seen this fenomena before in spiritual gatherings), and I´m shure something light, loving and better is in the process of being born. I wish you all the best, love &light on your way. Greetings, Riikka from Finland
Hi Daniel I think you may benefit from listening to Peterson ..and I would love to hear your take on him. I can't find your email to send it directly! https://youtu.be/XD6qeWSA6rA https://youtu.be/h194kSmK3SQ
Dear Daniel, Please tell me how we can discuss further "hiring" you We are not currently in the states Thanks JM ELIE MD