Just passing by to say hi! Ana, from Brazil.

Hey Daniel. I have come across a video, The two things that deeply psychologically change a person, this afternoon on YouTube. It was suggested to me because of algorithms of course. My "therapy" has been done alone, never any professional help with the exception of a brief sitting with a counselor because of domestic violence. I have cried nonstop. You have given me the first resource that I truly understand or feel checks most of the boxes in my life. I feel like I am forever apologizing for how I am, for being wrong, for hurting others and myself, and disappointing, for leaving, for running, for overreacting, or not reacting at all. My "symptoms" are and have always been all across the board, one extreme to another. I have always done this and for most of that time, I had no clue why and I was just stupid, ignorant of facts. I did not know how what was done to me and what happened to me and my family, what LIFELONG sad consequences were in store for me. I will be 51 years old in two days, I too was born in 1972. I have only begun to learn all of this cause-and-effect stuff deeply damaged me. My story, what I am about to tell you, I never said to anyone until I was in my mid 40's except to my best friend. She and I have been friends since we were 10 years old and I told her only "I was molested by my Papaw" with no other details. That is the extent of my sharing and acknowledging anything that had happened to me. When I was 7 years old my Dad come in after my Mom caught him cheating, he was on something and drinking. She was packing to go to Granny's. He started a fight, got a gun, and waved it around carelessly. My Mom had my 5 years old little sister in her arms, asleep. He shot my sister in the head and killed her. My sister was dead, my Dad went to prison and my Mom, well she survived the best she could. She worked two jobs to raise me and she was not emotionally available anymore. We never spoke of this again. From this point on, at 7 years old my Dad's Dad, my Papaw started molesting me. He did this until he died, I was 15 years old. The next things I am gonna tell you all happened before I turned 18 years old. Following the 8 years of being molested, my first boyfriend I had was that same year at 15, just turning 16. He hit me for the first time just before I turned 16, breaking my nose. He did this many times. I did and said nothing. He terrorized me once I did break from him after he kidnapped me. He and his cousin strangled me, puncturing three holes through my neck causing me to hemorrhage. Thinking I was dead they were planning to throw me out and leave the state. He broke into another car before this final incident and had a gun and two bullets for himself and me. He rigged my car to blow up in the courthouse parking lot that malfunctioned and did not burn me and my Momma. He drug me through a department store, and forced me to buy the shotgun shells he said he was gonna blow my brains out with. There is more but you get the point. This went on until I was 17, and he went to prison finally. Then at 18, I went to a party with my bf and I was raped. I never said anything again. I have been abused by most of the men I have been with. Looking back now, I can see how I created a "fake" Angie, She was in survival mode and everything was ok. I never spoke up or wanted to stand out, Never knew who I really was, and still don't, I can honestly say, even when I was little and this is often asked at school, I couldn't see the answer. What do you want to be when you grow up? I have never been able to see my future, where, or what I want to be. When I broke, I broke. My family doctor who tried for years and knew my life and knew the women in my family all of their lives, predicted what would happen in my late 30's or 40's. He told me I will not be able to "handle it" being my traumas without help. He nailed it. I wish I had believed him and trusted him enough to get some help in my late teens. I have major trust issues and in both extremes, I have issues with trust. I give trust and love easily and without caution and I shut it down and stay closed off. After 18 I have had some life-altering things happen that have messed with me majorly. Being short about one of those, at 42 a kid pulled in front of me and changed my life in a devastating manner that not only broke me physically but played a huge part in the breaking in my mind and life. I was internally decapitated, my head severed from my body, C1 & Odontiod shattered at the base of my skull, and my back broken in two places. The independence I held on to fiercely was gone in the blink of an eye, 97% of the people with my injury, die. 2% survive and are paralyzed, 1% survive and walk again. I am in that 1% and I am walking. Being told by NC State medical people "I would never be a contributing factor to society again" after "surviving" all I have, I started a downward spiral. You mentioned having a closed circle that you allow to see the real you. I have only done this for myself in the past five years. I have all but 100% isolated myself at this point. No one deserves to or should want to put up with my bs. I get that and I stop it now. Im sorry for rambeling on. I just want to say thank you for making me feel somewhat understood and not so crazy. I feel having both of you factors that deeply change someone happen at the same time for me and at a critical developmental young age, I have many more layers I am not looking forward to revealing but maybe I can do it. Your talk about trauma and when being continuously violated and not feeling noticed or heard affects a child is something I will be learning more about. This feels like what "split" that 7-year-old little girl that I was into the many I had to become. This gives me hope. I have resided my heart and mind. I will never be ok, this is just who I am. I can't be fixed and I will be alone. Leaving little room for hope but maybe I see a glimpse of some tonight. Thank you, Angie B.

Thanks for all your work; I’ve found it very helpful. Regarding “The Downside of Being an Attractive Woman “, I’d like to add to your notion that many don’t know they’re attractive is the fear that you’ll be considered vain if you acknowledge your beauty and the problems that come with it, or even if you wonder if you’re attractive. Then there’s the problem of mechanics, carpenters and other men one needs to do business with who ghost you because their wives/girlfriends might get jealous. It doesn’t necessarily decrease that much with age. Sinead O’Connor said she shaved her head to keep less attractive girls from beating her up out of envy. I’m glad I can comment here as I don’t want to create a YouTube channel just to comment.

Thank you for sharing your mind with the world. It's a true contribution to humanity

Hi Daniel! I find your YouTube videos so interesting and appreciate your insights. I had a similarly difficult time growing up and was so close to breaking from my parents, but then my 80 yr old dad had to come live with me after he and his 2nd wife got divorced after a 30 years marriage. I live alone in a 2-bedroom apartment by a park, so it made sense logistically, but I'm feeling re-traumatized having him here. He's not overtly abusive (like my mom was) - he's just oblivious sometimes and I can sense disapproval of me being unmarried and without kids. It's subtle, but I sense this "something is wrong with you energy" I so specifically wanted to break away from. I see an arts therapist and am journaling and meditating, exercising, doing yoga, but the sadness just wipes me out sometimes. My dad seems to be experiencing slight cognitive decline, so having him move somewhere and live alone doesn't seem right, so I just wondered if you might have any thoughts about how to address the re-traumatization that can arise when having an elderly parent move in with you is necessary. Thank you so much for any ideas you might have. How can you break from them when they're elderly and vulnerable?

Hi Daniel. ,,so glad to find you ,I'm a victim of my mother and grandmothers sexual abuse . Was raped daily at school by Moncioner Edward Kikle at St Francis DeSales school in Parma Ohio when I was 6 years old have spent my life long recovering from no boundaries .64 today you are my gift, your thoughts and words are healing ,thank you so much ,you are a life boat , my appreciation is sincere ...still on my journey of learning

Hi Daniel, I just watched your video of why you stopped being a therapist. Everything you say is really spot on, you know the system, the entire trauma process, and yourself extremely well. I commented before, but I didn't see it posted. I just came back to say YOU ARE AMAZING! God planned everything you went through to help so many people by you. I am so glad God gifted you with the power of empathy, compassion, knowledge, understanding, and LOVE. Please don't change (except for in the good sense). Everything I hear you say comes so REFRESHING to me as VALIDATION of my entire life. You need to make a movie about your life! LOL. Your fans love you a TON! From someone who also underwent Narcissist abuse (trauma bond) by a covert Narcissist. I struggle to make friends or emotionally bond with others intimately, due to trust, insecurity, lack of awareness of what is appropriate, right, healthy, or why. I was gaslit to never trust or believe what I think, feel, hear, OR see. It's been a long recovery journey, with just God and me. Ever heard of Reformed theology? It answered ALL OF MY QUESTIONS concerning God with respect to evil in the world (issue of theodicy: "where was God in all of this?").

Hi Danial! So last Friday I was talking to a social worker thinking she would help me and she basically told me I can’t work and that I should basically give up at least that’s how it seemed…can you make a video on how to handle toxic mental health providers? This just sickens me how someone could look me in the eyes and say this. Also before that I reached out to a mental health clinic and it’s been 5 days and I still have not heard anything. Sick! And they wonder why people aren’t getting the help they need and have to turn to themselves. This is rediculous at this point.

Hello All!!!! First, this is a brilliant idea Daniel to have this be a part of your website. Not only do we have hours of content on youtube and this website from you as a resource but again through all you’ve done we have a connection to each other. With this entry, I need to take a second to vent but first a little background, so, please bear with me. Thank you. I started this journey of course at day one; when my mother was created by her mother and the egg that was to make me was made. I have always (as most humans) been a highly inquisitive person. As a child, I became eerily comfortable with being by myself. I would spend hours outside, in my room reading or staying up extremely late knowing school would follow in the morning. It wasn’t ever more than verbal assault, thank goodness. However, living day in and day out in utter chaos took its toll on me as a young human. Not only were my parents terrible in their own way, they were also extremely attached to the lds religion (or cult). So, during the week, I struggled in school, struggled to stay safe at home, and was reinforced every Sunday at church that my family was perfect and would be together forever in eternity. That last concept really fucked me up (pardon the language, it’s the only word I can think of). My family will live together in the afterlife no matter what. I recently watched your video and others about the concept of psychosis. When I experience those moments of psychosis, of course the idea that comes to mind is to run away. The rant mainly consists of this: My mother and father do not want to know who I am. Not just from the family system trauma but also the religious trauma. My brain goes off in crisis and I never know how to deal with my current issues of daily life. I feel so alone. I do live with my mother and she tries, at least I think she does. Either way, with all that I’ve learned and pieced together, it so hard to have those conversations not just with her, everyone, even therapist (but who knows if they’re even good). I feel lost, I guess. It’s hard. Even harder to be positive and say good things will come. Could they actually come?

Absolute gold mine. Daniel, you've been a blessing for making the film about coming off medication. I believe my brother can cure bipolar naturally. Its inspired me. Secondly, you are so on point with your critique on psychotherapy. Seeing the brokenness of the medical system growing up + Osho's influence ('psychologists don't know themselves') + meeting an Indian Guru like Ram Dass did, has lead me to similar views on psychotherapy. It is time for a renaissance! I'm 27 and now feel the strong calling to become a psychotherapist but aiming to do so without all the red tape and acadix brainwashing. Big influence also has been Jiddu Krishnamurti, one of the rare ones who I feel has actually figured it out. Keep up the great work.

Hi Danial, are you able to talk about Aiden Hale and what you think what happened in a YouTube video? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Thoughts on school shootings in general? Would love to hear your thoughts and I hope you see this message!

Every few years I revisit my childhood trauma because of difficult Life triggers and the subsequent pain of my reactions. I found your channel a while back when researching the “borderline” features my family has been labeled with. I found you again this week along with trafficking survivor, Anneka Lucas. You’re on my Spotify play list now. I wish we could get you in the public school system to talk to kids about sexual abuse if that could ever be permitted. I’d also love to see a video on your perspective of 12 step programs, particularly Adult Children of Alcoholics, of which I’ve been in and out of for years with mixed feelings. Thank you for sharing your gifts

Hi Daniel. I just saw the following joint interview of Gabor Mate and Daniel Mate (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHO0Fs0I9oc) and I could not stop thinking of all your youtube videos. I was wondering if you have seen it and if you would like to make any comments. You have made me question Alice Miller and now there is another Guru of childhood trauma that I admire, but something seems to happen when the guru is challenged by its own child... It would be really nice if you could reply.

I wish I could adequately express how much I appreciate your videos. They have been tremendously helpful and comforting to me. I can resonate with so much of what you have to say. You are a light in the darkness. Thank you for being you.