[Written in 2004.]
The family system has the intense gravitational pull of a planet. It sucks everything into its orbit and shears off all rough and radical edges. If it has its way it never spits anything back into the universe. All it does is take and remold in its own image.
Those who escape the family orbit begin to form a gravitational pull all their own. Their force of character increases and their convictions grow firm. They no longer have to view the universe through the refracted lens of family distortion – and unresolved childhood trauma.
But when they return to the family home for even the shortest visit they are surprised to find their self-determination replaced by the clouds of self-doubt and ancient behavior. Kudos to the anonymous genius who created the following line: “Of course your parents can press your buttons – they installed them.” Never underestimate the toxic power of the family system.
Breaking away from the family is a rough journey, and at times not unlike hurtling in dark isolation through outer space. Millions of false solar systems call you in with their flickering lights, but they are only cold and dead. The only true light lies in your heart, in your true self. You were taught that you had no light within. But you did. They buried it, because your genius and perfection frightened them – and reminded them of how much they were lying to themselves. Now you have your own gravity, and if it is allowed to manifest fully you will become more powerful than they. Healing is always more powerful than disease.
That is why our species, and deranged as it is, still has hope.