Thirty-Four Reasons To Circumcise Your Beloved Newborn Baby Boy

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[Written in early 2007.  Note added, 12/27/13:  This is a humorous, ironic essay.  It was written tongue-in-cheek.  Sorry I didn’t note that earlier.]

  1. You give your son a gift by hardening him early on to life’s inevitable pain
  2. Circumcised boys never have to face teasing for having a filthy foreskin – and your bleeding, stunned, little infant will thank you for this later
  3. Moses and Jesus lived productive lives without foreskins – what, you think your kid is special?
  4. Nazis hated circumcised penises, therefore circumcision must be a good thing
  5. If God intended males to keep their foreskins He never would have put the idea of circumcision into people’s minds
  6. Mommies secretly like the look of circumcised penises
  7. You’re a pervert for thinking about a boy’s penis so much – for Christ’s sake, just let the good doctor do his job
  8. It is uncomfortable and rude to say “no” to a doctor
  9. The ancient Greeks practiced circumcision, and everyone knows they had the greatest respect for little boys
  10. What, you think that a needy, sniveling, whining, ungrateful, hours-old brat has any right to experience bliss on his first day on earth?
  11. Ritual religious circumcisions are a great chance to bring family together for a grand celebration – and you’re a killjoy for thinking otherwise
  12. Circumcised men are less likely to spread the AIDS virus; but in all fairness, men whose entire penises are removed are even less likely to spread HIV
  13. Traumatized boys are easier to manage; they know who’s boss from the get-go
  14. Don’t stress, everyone knows that circumcised foreskins grow back in time
  15. I can give you a list of a hundred circumcised men who make six-figure incomes, which proves that circumcision is financially beneficial
  16. Adult human penises wreak a lot of damage on this earth, so causing an infant’s penis a little pain is a justified form of preemptive revenge
  17. The Dalai Lama said that we all choose the families into which we are born in order to work through the wrongs of our past lives, therefore baby boys born into pro-circumcision families are responsible for having chosen this karma for themselves
  18. You give your baby boy something he can obsess about in therapy later in his life
  19. Baby boys love having knife-wielding strangers fondle their genitals
  20. Since girls have to get their ears pierced it’s only fair that boys should get the tips of their penises cut off
  21. Botched circumcisions add variety and spice to life
  22. Uncircumcised penises get very dirty, which requires a lot of extra work for busy moms – which is why I’m all for clipping off babies’ ears and nostrils as well
  23. Nip the problem in the bud: there’s less cutting involved in circumcising a tiny baby boy than there is in circumcising an adult man
  24. Doing unto your sons what your parents did unto you helps maintain continuity between the generations
  25. The ideal would be to circumcise baby boys in the womb – before they’re even alive!
  26. Mere mortal, what right have you to question ancient religious texts that were handed down by God Himself
  27. Genitals are evil; the less of them the better
  28. Michelangelo’s David was circumcised, and he is the greatest work of art ever [1/31/2007: A credible (anonymous) reader who recently traveled to Florence emailed me that “David” is in fact uncircumcised. Therefore, I hereby apologize for having stated that David was “the greatest work of art ever,” as clearly he is not. I am deeply sorry for any harm or trauma I may have unknowingly caused readers. -Daniel Mackler, LCSW-R]
  29. Scientific PROOF: Some (flawed) studies show there to be a slight decrease in urinary tract infections among circumcised male babies (P.S. Be sure to read the commentary at the end of the study!)
  30. Since doctors vow to “do no harm,” circumcision cannot possibly be harmful
  31. It’s not like mutilation of a baby’s genitals is sexual abuse!
  32. He’ll forget it all anyway
  33. It takes a lot of hard work and practice to become a good circumciser, and you want to put a hard-working professional out of business?
  34. This discussion is irrelevant, because everyone knows that babies don’t feel pain

In conclusion, if your mind is still not made up, watch this short video of a routine hospital circumcision.  But be forewarned: it’s graphic and violent.  [3/30/13:  Hmm…the original linked video was removed — but I went to Youtube and within fifteen seconds found another similar video, but it made me sick so I had to stop it when I heard the baby screaming.  But it gets the point across loud and clear.]

20 thoughts on “Thirty-Four Reasons To Circumcise Your Beloved Newborn Baby Boy”

  1. The Male Foreskin Has Over 16 Functions
    The foreskin has over 16 functions
    There’s a lot of misinformation out there leading people to think that the foreskin is just a useless flap of skin, and circumcision has no effect. In fact, the foreskin is an important part of the body, and amputating it should rarely if ever be done.
    The foreskin is an organ present on all mammals from birth (male and female, human and other mammals). It serves many important purposes, and is not ‘just skin.’ When the foreskin is lost to infant circumcision, there are at least 16 important functions that are lost, and likely more that we have yet to fully understand.

    Frenar Band or Ridged Band
    The Frenar band is a group of soft ridges near the junction of the inner and outer foreskin. This region is the primary erogenous zone of the intact male body. Loss of this delicate belt of densely innervated, sexually responsive tissue reduces the fullness and intensity of sexual response. [Source: Taylor, J. R. et al., “The Prepuce: Specialized Mucosa of the Penis and Its Loss to Circumcision,” British Journal of Urology 77 (1996): 291-295.]

    Mechanical Gliding Action
    The foreskin’s gliding action is a hallmark feature of the normal, natural, intact penis. This non-abrasive gliding of the penis in and out of its own shaft skin facilitates smooth, comfortable, pleasurable intercourse for both partners. Without this gliding action, the corona of the circumcised penis can function as a one-way valve, making artificial lubricants necessary for comfortable intercourse. [Source: P. M. Fleiss, MD, MPH, “The Case Against Circumcision,” Mothering: The Magazine of Natural Family Living (Winter 1997): 36-45.]

    Meissner’s Corpuscles
    Circumcision removes the most important sensory component of the foreskin – thousands of coiled fine-touch receptors called Meissner’s corpuscles. Also lost are branches of the dorsal nerve, and 20,000+ specialized erotogenic nerve endings of several types. Together these detect subtle changes in motion and temperature, as well as fine gradations in texture. [Sources: 1. R. K. Winkelmann, “The Erogenous Zones: Their Nerve Supply and Its Significance,” Proceedings of the Staff Meetings of the Mayo Clinic 34 (1959): 39-47. 2. R. K. Winkelmann, “The Cutaneous Innervation of Human Newborn Prepuce,” Journal of Investigative Dermatology 26 (1956): 53-67.]

    Frenulum
    The frenulum is a highly erogenous V-shaped structure on the underside of the glans that tethers the foreskin. During circumcision it is frequently either amputated with the foreskin or severed, which destroys or diminishes its sexual and physiological functions. [Sources: 1. Cold, C, Taylor, J, “The Prepuce,” BJU International 83, Suppl. 1, (1999): 34-44. 2. Kaplan, G.W., “Complications of Circumcision,” Urologic Clinics of North America 10, 1983.]

    Dartos Fascia
    Circumcision removes approximately half of this temperature-sensitive smooth muscle sheath, which lies between the outer layer of skin and the corpus cavernosa. [Source: Netter, F.H., “Atlas of Human Anatomy,” Second Edition (Novartis, 1997): Plates 234, 329, 338, 354, 355.]
    Components of the Immune System
    The soft mucosa (inner foreskin) contains its own immunological defense system which produces plasma cells. These cells secrete immunoglobulin antibodies as well as antibacterial and antiviral proteins, including the pathogen killing enzyme lysozyme. [Sources: 1. A. Ahmed and A. W. Jones, “Apocrine Cystadenoma: A Report of Two Cases Occurring on the Prepuce,” British Journal of Dermatology 81 (1969): 899-901. 2. P. J. Flower et al., “An Immunopathologic Study of the Bovine Prepuce,” Veterinary Pathology 20 (1983):189-202.]
    Lymphatic Vessels
    The loss of these vessels due to circumcision reduces the lymph flow within that part of the body’s immune system. [Source: Netter, F.H., “Atlas of Human Anatomy,” Second Edition (Novartis, 1997): plate 379.]

    Estrogen Receptors
    The presence of estrogen receptors within the foreskin has only recently been discovered. Their purpose is not yet understood and needs further study. [Source: R. Hausmann et al., “The Forensic Value of the Immunohistochemical Detection of Oestrogen Receptors in Vaginal Epithelium,” International Journal of Legal Medicine 109 (1996): 10-30.]

    Apocrine Glands
    These glands of the inner foreskin produce pheromones – nature’s powerful, silent, invisible behavioral signals to potential sexual partners. The effect of their absence on human sexuality has never been studied. [Source: A. Ahmed and A. W. Jones, “Apocrine Cystadenoma: A Report of Two Cases Occurring on the Prepuce,” British Journal of Dermatology 81 (1969): 899-901.]

    Sebaceous Glands
    The sebaceous glands may lubricate and moisturize the foreskin and glans, which is normally a protected internal organ. Not all men have sebaceous glands on their inner foreskin. [Source: A. B. Hyman and M. H. Brownstein, “Tyson’s Glands: Ectopic Sebaceous Glands and Papillomatosis Penis,” Archives of Dermatology 99 (1969): 31-37.]

    Langerhans Cells
    These specialized epithelial cells are a component of the immune system in the penis. [Source: G. N. Weiss et al., “The Distribution and Density of Langerhans Cells in the Human Prepuce: Site of a Diminished Immune Response?” Israel Journal of Medical Sciences 29 (1993): 42-43.]

    Natural Glans Coloration
    The natural coloration of the glans and inner foreskin (usually hidden and only visible to others when sexually aroused) is considerably more intense than the permanently exposed and keratinized coloration of a circumcised penis. The socio-biological function of this visual stimulus has never been studied. The glans ranges from pink to red to dark purple among intact men with light skin tone, and from pinkish to mahagony to dark brown among men with dark skin tone. If circumcision is performed on an infant or young boy, the connective tissue which protectively fuses the foreskin and glans together is ripped apart. This leaves the glans raw and subject to infection, scarring, pitting, shrinkage, and eventual discoloration. Over a period of years the glans becomes keratinized, adding additional layers of tissue in order to adequately protect itself, which further contributes to discoloration. Many restoring men report dramatic changes in glans color and appearance, and that these changes closely mirror the natural coloration and smooth, glossy appearance of the glans seen in intact men. [Source: P. M. Fleiss, MD, MPH, “The Case Against Circumcision,” Mothering: The Magazine of Natural Family Living (Winter 1997): 36-45.]

    Length and Circumference
    Circumcision removes some of the length and girth of the penis – its double-layered wrapping of loose, and usually longer, tissue is removed. A circumcised penis is truncated and thinner than it would have been if left intact. [Source: R. D. Talarico and J. E. Jasaitis, “Concealed Penis: A Complication of Neonatal Circumcision,” Journal of Urology 110 (1973): 732-733.]

    Blood Vessels
    Several feet of blood vessels, including the frenular artery and branches of the dorsal artery, are removed in circumcision. The loss of this rich vascularization interrupts normal blood flow to the shaft and glans of the penis, damaging the natural function of the penis and altering its development. [Sources: 1. H. C. Bazett et al., “Depth, Distribution and Probable Identification in the Prepuce of Sensory End-Organs Concerned in Sensations of Temperature and Touch; Thermometric Conductivity,” Archives of Neurology and Psychiatry 27 (1932): 489-517. 2. Netter, F.H., “Atlas of Human Anatomy,” Second Edition (Novartis, 1997): plates 238, 239.]

    Dorsal Nerves
    The terminal branch of the pudendal nerve connects to the skin of the penis, the prepuce, the corpora cavernosa, and the glans. Destruction of these nerves is a rare but devastating complication of circumcision. If cut during circumcision, the top two-thirds of the penis will be almost completely without sensation. [Sources: 1. Agur, A.M.R. ed., “Grant’s Atlas of Anatomy,” Ninth Edition (Williams and Wilkins, 1991): 188-190. 2. Netter, F.H., “Atlas of Human Anatomy,” Second Edition (Novartis, 1997): plate 380, 387.]
    16+ Other Losses:
    Circumcision performed during infancy disrupts the bonding process between child and mother. There are indications that the innate sense of trust in intimate human contact is inhibited or lost. It can also have significant adverse effects on neurological development and cause a host of problems with breastfeeding and attachment development.
    Additionally, an infant’s self-confidence and hardiness is diminished by forcing the newborn victim into a defensive psychological state of “learned helplessness” or “acquired passivity” to cope with the excruciating pain which he can neither fight nor flee.
    The trauma of this early pain lowers a circumcised boy’s pain threshold below that of intact boys and girls. This has been proven in a study during vaccination time. [Sources: 1. R. Goldman, Circumcision: The Hidden Trauma (Boston: Vanguard Publications, 1997), 139-175. 2. A. Taddio et al., “Effect of Neonatal Circumcision on Pain Responses during Vaccination in Boys,” Lancet 345 (1995): 291-292.]
    Every year some boys lose their entire penises from circumcision accidents and infections. They are then “sexually reassigned” by castration and transgender surgery, and are expected to live their lives as females. [Sources: 1. J. P. Gearhart and J. A. Rock, “Total Ablation of the Penis after Circumcision with Electrocautery: A Method of Management and Long-Term Follow up,” Journal of Urology 142 (1989):799-801. 2. M. Diamond and H. K. Sigmundson, “Sex Reassignment at Birth: Long-Term Review and Clinical Implications,” Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine 151 (1997): 298-304.]
    Every year many boys in the United States and elsewhere lose their lives as a result of circumcision – a fact that is routinely ignored or obscured. More U.S. born boys in the neonatal period of infancy die as the result of circumcision complications than from SIDS, car accidents, crib accidents, suffocation or choking. [Sources: 1. G. W. Kaplan, “Complications of Circumcision,” Urologic Clinics of North America 10 (1983): 543-549. 2. R. S. Thompson, “Routine Circumcision in the Newborn: An Opposing View,” Journal of Family Practice 31 (1990): 189-196.
    The human foreskin represents 1/3 to 1/2 the complete penis at birth and in early childhood, and plays an important part in normal sexual functioning in adulthood.

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  2. There are so many rationalizations about exposing a boy to risks and a life time of decreased sexual enjoyment. It absolutely bogs the mind.
    The best, ” I did it because I could, and I’m his mother and he belongs to me.” “Now, just move on and mind your own child, not mine.” Then she cuts off all further discussions.

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  3. I find it completely disturbing that adults would want to focus themselves so intently on the genitals of a baby under any circumstances. I cannot believe for one moment that intense focus on babies genitals serves any useful purpose, or has any redeeming qualities. I’m almost certain that there is something yucky and horrible attached to this fixation which goes above and beyond the fixation with the presence or absence of foreskin. I hate to think what else was going on. For some reason I imagine it would be a perfect opportunity for sexual contact with babies and in some form or other. I can imagine every single paedophile in the neighbourhood would be volunteering to fill the trusted role of performing this function. It must have been a paedophile magnet position.
    I just think it’s completely vile that children are still treated as objects. That there is so much to generate and prehistoric thinking about children still in existence. And nothing is being done to change it.

    It is my belief, based on the sickness in society, and the sickness which I see at the very top of the establishment, as evidenced by the complete and utter sickness of the decisions made at the very top of the establishment to create wards and perpetuate war, that I believe that the traumatising traditions for children serve the interests of the abusive and psychopathic establishment interests. I think it’s easier to intimidate and scare Joe public into accepting some new war if they are traumatised from the word go. And I think these cultural tricks are convenient ways for the establishment to leave the door open to yet more sexual abuse of children. So I believe these things have been allowed to continue for all the wrong reasons. For the same reason that wars are allowed to continue. The establishment benefits When everybody is traumatised and too frightened to speak out or know what they’re feeling..

    Why aren’t more people talking about this? That’s what I want to know. Has the world gone mad.. the silence is deafening..

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    • >>>Why aren’t more people talking about this<<<
      Hello Laura, I agree, a conspicuous silence is conspicuous. The silence is screaming so to speak!
      My experience from a German Forum is, if you talk too much some persons will strategically accuse you of an unhealthy obsession with the Genitalia of little boys. Although the fallacy is obvious, an obsession does apply but in respect to the sacrosanctity of any other body than mine. It is aka Saecular Humanism.
      I thank you for your Input and for reviving this online-discussion here. Kindest regards from GERMANY!

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  4. Thank you for your commitment and your creation of the awareness.
    Elective circumcision, of ANY other being thanoneself, is the exertion of a personal world view, culture, Religion !!!AT!!! the Genitalia of another human being. I wonder why nobody ever put this factual and irrefutable Statement, which explains the malicious- and totally, unforgivable nnature of circumcision.

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  6. This entire article is a Straw Man argument. These are not the reasons circumcision is so popular. It’s cleaner, safer and an uncircumcised penis looks and is nasty. Cleary, more people agree with me than you, or you wouldn’t have written this childish and intellectually stunted article.

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    • I understand where you’re coming from. I saw intact guys in the locker room, mainly Hispanic men. I figured that was the “poor man’s penis” and kinda looked down on him at the time. The fact becomes clearer the more you look into it that society has “normalized” the circumcised penis so much that it’s become the default image we all have in our minds of what a penis is supposed to look like. It would be as if society entirely phased out our ears (cut them off at birth). After a while, we would grow accustomed to everyone without ears, so much so that if we came across someone *with* ears, it would be atrocious to us and we’d wonder why they look so weird and have to deal with their ears getting in the way and causing filth and disgust.

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  7. I know it’s been a while. And that this post is a bit older.

    What I will never get:
    “He should match Daddy” – that’s not for the babies sake but the fathers so he don’t have to admit that he is the victim of genital mutilation. Because let’s face it: That is circumcision without medical necessity.

    And:

    People get told: “You don’t have to hurt your baby. You can keep him the way he is born”

    And the answer is not an immediate: “YAAAAY. I don’t have to hurt him? He is normal? Oh WONDERFUL. Thank you” but a kind of namecalling which is plain stupid. *shakes head*

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  8. As a victim with no recourse primarily due to my age (retired) I have to wonder if I could sue the hospital over my extreme anger issues. I am enraged over the number (endless) of stories where parents who made it perfectly clear that there was to be NO circumcision including not signing any permission paperwork still took home a circimcised son. if that had been my child, I’d have burned the hospital to the ground. I wonder if they occassionally take out somebodies heart when they’re not done using it? Circumcision is NO less important – damned fools.

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  9. I almost popped a blood vessel when I read this. Then I saw that it was a mockery.
    My brain has just cooled down from the (intentional) idiocy on this post.
    Good work, sir.

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      • Btw – I think david was circumcised but he was cut the way they use to do it until they decided to permanently expose the glans. The original circumcision was just a sliver from the tip so men who were cut back then still had most of their foreskin and looked intact. They use to tie their foreskins forward with leather tethers during Greek games because exposing the glans was considered rude. Then some Jewish elders decided that they needed to cut off more to prevent them from doing that and looking like intact men. Thus the full foreskin amputation was born.

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  10. I got the satire. Only thing is #9 is demonstrably false. The ancient Greeks and Romans NEVER practiced circumcision. That barbarity was practiced only by some scattered African and aboriginal tribes and a few cultures in the Middle East, notably the Jews, who imposed that practice on other religions/cultures.

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    • bub–
      i just a did a little online research and it seems you are quite correct!! i have no idea why i wrote that about the ancient romans and greeks. thanks!!
      —daniel
      p.s. in the spirit of satire: now at least i can sleep well knowing the ancient greeks and romans really did treat their children horribly. i guess i had an over-inflated positive regard for their treatment of young boys.

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  11. You are such an ignorant asshole. All you said was shit nonsense at all but what my favorite part was “genitals are evil the less of them the better” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

    People out there, don’t be stupid don’t cut your babies foreskin, that’s genital mutilation, it’s HIS foreskin not yours, a lot of circumcised guys wish they have a foreskin. An uncut penis is a lot more sensitive, give your child the right to have a future COMPLETE sexual experience he deserves it. If your kid wants to get rid of it fine, but let HIM take the decision as an adult.

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    • it’s an ironic essay. if i were not being ironic i would agree with your assessment of me and of this essay. to be blunt, and not ironic: circumcision is torture.
      –daniel

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